LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 






Shelf .,&.\-<s- M 



UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



PB/IOE 25 OE3STTS. 



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u 



WHY DID YOU DO IT?" 



A PERSONAL NARRATIVE. 



BY 



EDITED BY 



E. LU VERNE FISH, M. D. 



PHILADELPHIA, PA. 

PUBLISHED BY A. E. CARR. 

1878. 







Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1878, by 

E. LU VERNE FISH, M. D., 

in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. 

All rights reserved. 



Lc Control Number 




tmp96 027237 



CONTENTS 



Chapter. 


Page. 




Prefatory, 


5 


I. 


A sad true story (Poem), . 


7 




Saddest thought of all, . . - . 


S 




What might have been, . 


9 


II. 


Just in whispering distance, 


10 


III. 


Birth-day party, 


19 


IV. 


The wedding, ..... 
44 Oh that my people may never know it," 


28 


V. 


Going into business, .... 


39 




Fail, and why ? . . 


' 42 




Leaving the innocent wife, 


44 


VI. 


Dissipation and crime, . . 


44 




Two letters from Mrs. P. R. F. 


49 


VII. 


More crime, ..... 


56 


VIII. 


Arrest, ..... 


61 




No, is a little word (Poem), . 


69 




A prisoner's work and discipline, . 


71 




A letter from E. L. F 


72 



Chapter. Page. 

IX. Released from prison, .... 79 

Out three months, ... . . . 83 

Arrested again, .... .88 

Thirty-two months in H. 0. . . . 89 

Attend Francis Murphy Temperance 

meetings in Philadelphia, ... 90 
A situation at John Wanamaker's, . . 91 
Conclusion with a few letters of encour- 
agement, . , . . . 92 



PREFATORY 



" This book is merely a personal narrative, and not 
a pretentious history, or a philosophical dissertation. 
Its object is rather to help the gentle reader to 
wile away an idle hour, than to afflict him with 
metaphysics, or goad him with science. Still, there 
is information in the volume." 

While in my prison cell, I had plenty of time 
for meditation, the fruit of which you see in this 
simple work before you. It seems but a day since 
I was a boy, kneeling at my mother's knee, in the 
calm of every twilight, saying my little prayer ; 
yet I have experienced much, yes, much that I 
sincerely regret. Now I will give young men and 
boys, who peruse these pages, warning of the course 
they are pursuing ; and there will be some things 
that will not hurt some older men to read, if they 
do rub a little close on their easy mode of life, 
but, on the contrary, I hope will do them good. 
Ladies will find, I sincerely hope, something to in- 
terest them. I shall show you how I prospered 
when I pursued the honest, upright, and virtuous 



course. You will also see how dishonesty first 
commenced with me, and is commencing with many 
others this day. Now I often think of what the 
Rev. D. M. Stuart said to me, when I was a boy, 
seventeen years of age, while living with him, and 
attending school at the seminary of which he was 
principal. " Lonnie, you have some very good 
principles and some very bad ones ; the good will 
not be a match for the bad, but the bad will 
overcome the good, and, finally, all will be bad, 
just as one or two unsound apples will spoil a 
whole barrel of sound ones, if you do not remove 
them." Now when you see where I was, five years 
later, you will think (as I do) he was right. 

My friends, receive this little story in the spirit in 
which it is told ; give it good words wherever you 
will ; and hope with me, that it may be the in- 
strument, under God, of saving some from sin and 
misery. 

Yours Truly, 

THE AUTHOR. 

Philadelphia, March 9, 1878. 



CHAPTER I. 

A SAD TRUE STORY. 

They met in youth's early morn 

Light-hearted children as they were, 

Likened unto two brilliant stars, 

That ere no simmering cloud 

Had shaded yet — 

And still those bright and happy days 

Unshadowed were for years. 

And all the world 

Like an eternal glory seemed 

Unto the youthful pair — 

But life cannot 

Like a bright summer's day be spent. 

But all along with darkened clouds 

And thunders rent. 

And when the one had sued 

For stronger ties than friendship gives, 

And did assure his firm unchanging love, 

She vowed her constancy to prove. 

When in all its gold and glory 

Rose the sun on the wedding morn, 

No fairer bride or happier groom 

Had he e'er shone upon, 

Then he took her away to his own fair clime, 

Took away a young, trusting heart. 

And he crushed the one he vowed to keep 

Until death the two did part. 

But Time, which changes every thing, 

Wrought those too sad to hear, 

It proved unnumbered times those words 

The transgressor's way's severe — 



8 



Down down he sank until (oh, can I say), 
A felon's fate he shared — 
Down to the deepest depths of sin 
And dishonored his name so fair. 
Now I've told you the worst 
Which I tried not to do, 
But my tongue will unknowingly speak 
When the mind is o'erwbelmed — 
With thoughts like these, 
T'is hard in silence to keep — 
But I'll think no more of the sad, sad past 
Like a vision it all now seems, 
Have I dreamed all this in the hours past. 
No ! No I t'is, alas ! too true. 
But they tell me he is changed 
To a better man, 
Has given Ms heart to God, 
Now rejoice you with me 
That the story I've told 
Shall end in this happy way — 
And believe you now, those who truly ask, 
Shall be saved to eternity, 
God pity and forgive him 
Is all we can well say, 
And I'll pity and forgive 
For the love he cast away. 

E. Lu Meeme T. 



SADDEST THOUGHT OF ALL, WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. 

It was now past the middle of August, A. D. 1876. 
Oh ! there I sat those beautiful days, in ray lonely 
cell, when not in the shop at work. You must 
imagine I felt wretched and most miserable ; yes, I 
did sometimes when I thought where I was, and 
what brought me there. To think of the blot on my 



9 

character, though it may be forgiven, it can never be 
forgotten. I did work so hard to build myself up, 
then after getting a long way up the ladder I fell. 
Yes, not only down to the bottom, but up to my eyes 
in degradation. I can see but one way out, I will 
write of that hereafter. Suffice it to say, I do not 
feel so near forsaken now as when I was first arrested, 
seventy-one months ago, because I thought then how 
few enemies, and how many friends I had, only six 
months before. But by going there I found one old 
and true friend, that instead of forsaking in the time 
of trouble, will come and relieve one of all, and not 
even those thick walls and heavy bars could keep him 
out. Oh ! what a comfort it was to think of these 
things. I feel that God placed me there for my own 
eternal good, because for sometime previous to my 
arrest, Satan had a stronger power over me than God 
and his angels. Now, my young readers, there are 
none of you that would leave your pleasant homes 
and friends, and go to a place like that, and be locked 
up in a space of three feet six inches by seven feet 
four inches. To save you from this misery and dis- 
grace, I propose to write of my experience, that you 
may take warning, and shun the evil steps I took. I 
will lay them all before you, both the good and bad 
(sorry there is so little good, and much bad), so you 
can pick your way through life's journey more safely 
and pleasantly. There are two roads : The foundation 
of one is temperance, which leads you to love our 
Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, and despise Satan. 

If you follow in this way, you will find a home in 

1* 



10 

Heaven. The foundation of the other road is intem- 
perance, which will lead you to love and serve Satan 
and despise God. The first glass of intoxicating 
liquor you drink, or the first time you gamble is the 
first step towards H — 11, via State Prison. You will 
find by reading this book through, in more instances 
than one, that the above words are true. I will com- 
mence with my childhood days, and write the facts 
as thev occur. 



CHAPTER II. 

"just in whispering distance." 

I was born April 18th, A. D. 1850, in the western 
part of the State of New York. The first of my 
roguish acts I recollect (I'm going to tell you of these 
first, because, I think, the world generally believes 
the evil quicker than the good, or the people in it 
do, which proves I understand human nature) was 
when about five years old. I had a little baby sister 
we called Minnie; she was then one year old. Mamma 
left her on her little bed one day, and wished me to 
see that no harm came to her, while she was absent 
in another room. When Mamma came back, what did 
she find on the bed, right over sister Minnie, but a 
great fire ; also, along the carpet from the stove. I 
had taken a shovel full of coals from the stove, and 
placed them on the bed cover, to see a bonfire. As 



■M 



11 

the room filled with smoke, I ran and hid myself un- 
der the bureau, to enjoy the sight of my bonfire. 
Mamma came in screaming, and Minnie took up the 
soprano of the same tune. But no serious calamity 
befell little sister. Mamma was just in time to save her. 
The little covering, or what remained of it, was kept 
in the house a long time, to remind naughty Lonnie of 
his wild prank that had so nearly culminated fatally 
to a near and dear friend. The next entry I make 
was three years later, when my other little sister, who 
we called Lilly, was two years old. We were all 
three children (my two sisters and myself) in the 
pantry one day, I, a boy of eight, cutting a pie for 
myself and little sisters. Lilly was in a hurry for her 
piece, so put her hand up to get it. I told her to 
wait a minute, but child like she grabbed for it, and, 
Oh ! how cruel I was, for I struck her baby hand with 
the knife which I held, the mark of which she bears 
this day, in remembrance of her naughty brother. I 
tell you these things so you will begin now, while 
young, to govern your temper, so, when you grow up, 
you will not have so much to regret, when you look 
back over your past career. Furthermore, it is easier 
now, than it. will be when you grow older. When I 
was small I was like you in some respects, I suppose. 
I did not like to take medicine when I was sick. One 
night I well remember. Mamma had made some hot 
tea for me, and tried to coax me to take it ; but, no ! I 
would not. Then she tried to drive me. What did 
I do but throw a flat-iron at her. What do you 
imagine my recompense was when my father came 



12 

home ? Just what I needed, a good, sound whipping, 
and had to take the medicine too. I dreaded the 
school- room, so, was always running away from school, 
and from church, and Sunday school, and usually re- 
ceived a good whipping for my pains, which, of course, 
I richly deserved. So, you see, in truth, I had the 
" earmarks " of a perverse generation, from the earli- 
est date of my origin. What folly ! that men will 
preach to their children, what they do not practice. 
I cannot remember of my father's going inside a 
church, but once in his life. I do not mean to say he 
was cruel or intemperate, for he was not. I never 
knew him to drink one drop of intoxicating liquor, 
or take the Lord's name in vain. But, Oh ! how often 
have I heard my good Christian mother and the minister 
of the parish, ask, yea, beseech of him to attend the place 
of worship on the Lord's day, not only for his own good, 
but to set a better example before his son. He would 
always put them off with the same reply, 4< I can be a 
Christian, and not go to church. Some men go to 
church and pray, and on the steps of the holy sanc- 
tuary make trades. I read my Bible at home, and go 
into my closet and pray." In the autumn of 1862, 
my third little sister died. We called her Jessie ; she 
was only fourteen month's old, and father's idol ; she 
was the first taken from our midst. The next Sun- 
day after her death, my father went to church with 
mamma, my two sisters, and myself. Oh ! how good it 
seemed. I can see him yet, just as he sat, at the end 
of the pew. How I did wish, as I sat beside him, 
that he would go every Sunday. 



13 

In the village of Pike, where we lived at this time, 
almost every man owned a cow, and some two, but all of 
the men did not have boys to drive them to and from 
the pasture for them, so every morning I would drive 
ten or twelve to the pasture ; distance one-half mile, and 
get them at night. I would get five cents a week for 
each cow I drove. Then I would have a chance to 
run on errands occasionally and get a few pennies ; all 
these I saved. At the end of every season I would 
have from twenty- five to twenty-eight dollars. I got 
this from the time I was eight years old, until I was 
thirteen. Until I was twelve years old I never would 
spend any of my money, but would give it to my 
father at the end of every season, and he would pay 
me interest. At the age of twelve I bought me a sil- 
ver watch worth twenty-five dollars, and, of course, 
thought it made a man of me, because all merchants 
had one (and I expected to be one some day). But in 
the winter of my thirteenth year, there sprung up bad 
habits. Some boys in school had packs of cards and 
knew how to play with them. Some of them would 
ask me to play. At first I refused, because I knew 
father did not play, and would punish me if I did. 
But after seeing the boys play from time to time, I 
finally consented to learn, providing they would not 
tell father. Next, of course, I must have a pack of 
cards of my own, so I gave a boy money to get them 
for me, because I did not dare to call for them my- 
self. After I had got them I did not dare to carry them 
home, because I might drop one out of my pocket, 
or leave them where my little sisters would get then) 



14 

and show them to my parents ; so I had a boy carry 

them for me. Soon it was proposed we should play 
for the candy or nuts, then sweet cider or ale, next 
oysters and wine, and by spring we could call on any 
of the strong or "fancy" drinks, as we called them, 
say nothing of the cigars we habitually smoked. 
Once my father caught me with several of the town 
boys up in the fifth story of the woolen factory, where 
he worked, playing cards. Each of us hid what cards 
we had when we heard him coming, but in our haste 
we dropped one through the scuttle, down upon the 
elevator, as he was coming up. When he reached 
the landing he said: " "Whose cards are you playing 
with ? " ° We aint playing cards," said we. Then, 
said he, " Look over your pack, and see if there isn't 
one missing." rt I have no pack to look over." " Then 
where did this one come from. I picked it up as I 
came along.'' "I don't know," said I. " Lonnie, 
come here," said he; then he searched me, and found 
what I had, and said: "Now go right down and put 
these in the stove, and don't let me catch you with 
cards again." " I can't, because it would spoil the 
pack; they are not mine, they are F.'s" " I don't 
care who they belong to." " Go, this instant, and do 
as I bid you." "I shall have to pay for them, then." 
" Well, pay for them, I don't care, but be quick in 
doing, as I tell you." I. put them in the stove and 
told the rest to do the same, because I might as well 
pay for the whole of a dead horse, as half of it. Of 
course the reader thinks they were my cards, and so 
they were. After they were consumed, my father 



15 

asked F. how much they cost, I answered twenty-five 
cents. So father gave him the money, and told him 
not to buy any more cards. But if you do, don't let 
Lonnie play with them, and I advise you all, as a 
good friend, not to have anything to do with cards in 
the future, and Lonnie, I will let you off this time, 
but you had better not let me catch you again, or hear 
of your playing cards any more, if you do, you won't 
get off so easy, do you understand? Yes, sir. 

Now does the reader labor under the mistaken idea, 
that that twenty-five cents went into the treasury box, 
the next Sunday, if so, let me disabuse your mind of 
the idea. F. gave me the money father had given 
him, and I had another friend buy a pack that very 
night and carry for me. We used to take our school 
books and go to each other's houses to study evenings, 
then lock our door, hang a hat on the key to cover 
the hole, so no one could see us, then our books were 
put aside, and our cards were our lesson. But very 
seldom we went to school with perfect lessons. You 
see I had not only learned to gamble, drink and 
smoke, but I had learned to lie. We will say it is 
but repeating a truism, " That one who will lie 
will steal." But I do not think this strictly true, for 
I have known some most profound liars, who were 
never, to my knowledge, accused of theft. But the 
reverse is almost always true, that a thief will lie. 

In March, 1863, there came among us a baby brother, 
who lingered with us but two short days, and then 
was called to God. A flower in all its purity trans- 
planted to other and better ground, beyond the reach 



16 

of mortal ken. In April, my father said, l - Well, 
Lonnie how much money have you in your bank, 
this spring, which you wish to put out at interest." 
u I don't know exactly," said I. " I have lost track." 
"How strange," said he, " I never knew you to loose 
track before." I knew in a few days he would ex- 
pect me to give him what I had to add to the interest 
then due, and all I had in that little bank, usually so 
replete with silver five and ten cent pieces, was five 
old fashioned red coppers. 

Does the reader wonder why it was so near empty. 
It was because I had payed my share of the " racket," 
(as we used to sa}^), meaning my share of the beer 
and cigar money for the maintenance of our social 
relations after night. Now my father must soon 
know it. What should I do. I should get a flogging 
if he found it out. What was I to do? This was the 
question ; and as I tried to think, that wary old 
enemy of mankind — the devil — came and stood just 
in whispering distance from me, and said, u My dear, 
little boy, I know you feel badly, but I am sent this 
way just on purpose to help you out, so just step in 
this corner grocery and see if you cannot, some 
where, see the means of assistance. If you do, don't 
be afraid to take it, for all the money these nice-look- 
ing men in the town have got, belongs to me." So say- 
ing, he left me, and as I looked about, there was Mr. 
Skiff's store right before me, and it was on a corner, 
too. So I stepped in. The proprietor was down in the 
cellar drawing molasses, and the customer — ever sus- 
picious, as human nature usually is — went along with 



17 

him ostensibly, to test the quality of the molasses, 
but really to see if he had good measure. I saw the 
old gentleman's money draw standing partly open. 
There lay the Y's and X's in their beautiful dress of 
green, and there lay the halves and quarters, some of 
my own, probably (I had payed him some at least), 
and now that I had this grand opportunity, why not 
make a haul. At this juncture, " the still, small 
voice " tried hard to get in a plea, but it was over- 
ruled, and placed in statu quo. I sprung over the 
counter and made a grab, and then ran out before 
any one (as I thought) saw me. On counting up the 
proceeds of my little '- operation " (as they say now- 
a-days), I found myself in possession of about $13.00, 
which I immediately secreted in the barn. I visited 
a hardware store, and a drug store, and lightened their 
tills of enough to make a respectable bank account, 
which I deposited that same day, having enough left 
for several games of cards, cigars, &c, and felt myself 
a man, about town, to be able to swing things "high, 
wide and handsome," with good clothes, plenty of 
spending money, and a "fat" bank account. But 
alas ! I came to grief, just as every dishonest boy will 
at last. 

Mr. Skiff beckoned to me across the street, and I 
ran to him with as honest a face as I could assume. 
Said he, " Lonnie did you see any one in the store 
when you were here this morning?" " No, sir," said 
I. " Didn't you see any one come in or go out?" 
"No, sir," I again answered. "Did you notice 
whether or not the money draw was open?" " Yes, 



18 

sir, I think it was." " Well, Lonnie, some one took 
some change out of that draw, about the time you 
was in here, and if you know anything about it please 
tell me, won't you?" "You don't think it was me, 
do you?" "!N"o, I never thought you would steal, 
but the sight, of money is a great temptation to boys, 
so if you have it, just return it and no one will ever 
know it.' 1 Just at this moment, Mr. Kelsy, the hard- 
ware man, came along and told of his loss, and said 
he saw me run out of his store, but thought nothing 
of it until he missed his money ; Colonel Renwic, 
who had been a listener, stroked me on the head, and 
said, " Lonnie, you don't want to go to jail, do you ? 
If you don't, tell us where it is so we can get it, and 
your pa needn't know anything about it." Colonel 
Renwic did more good than all the rest, for he had 
often given me pennies, and I liked him very much. 
So I gave him the money, and as we were going 
back, he said, " There now don't cry, here is a penny 
for you." " Thank, you," said I. " But this is a 
quarter." " Oh, that is so, but you may keep it for 
being so honest with me." I felt miserable, no two 
ways about that. I thought all could read my guilt 
in my face, so I ran across the garden into the barn, 
and hid myself in the hay, where I staid that day 
and part of the next ; too wretched and miserable to 
care for food, and too guilty to meet face to face with 
my fellow beings. As I heard nothing more of the 
matter I began to congratulate myself on getting off 
so well, when my father said to me at the table one 
morning, ' k I hear bad reports of you ; had I heard it 



19 

on Saturday, I should have given you a sound whip- 
ping, but you seem sorry, so I shall let you go this 
time, but you must go and ask those men to forgive 
you." This I disliked very much to do, but he gave 
me the unsatisfactory alternatives of going or a 
" gadding," or a u gadding," and then going, so I con- 
cluded to go, so my father went with me ; and they 
forgave me, and gave me many words of advice, which 
had I heeded, I should have escaped many miseries, 
and the infliction of others upon many dear friends. 

After this occurrence, I fully resolved in my mind 
that, " honesty was the best policy," if it did make a 
man poor, and that in the future, God assisting me, I 
would strive to be honest and win back the confidence 
I felt I had lost. So I went out and helped a man get 
his hay that summer, which brought me in some 
honestly earned dollars, which I felt belonged to me, 
and which consciousness made me feel happy. 



CHAPTEK III 



BIRTHDAY PARTY. 



In August, 1863, occurred an incident that has ever 
appeared to me as the turning point of my life. 
Messrs. Smith & Seeley came from the State of Con- 
necticut after a drove of cattle. After they had pur- 
chased a line drove of three hundred and fifty head, 
they offered to hire me to assist them in driving 



20 

through to Connecticut. After consulting with my 
parents I consented to go, fixing the price of my 
labor at twenty-five cents a day and my expenses. 
The trip lasted us thirty days, and the gentlemen 
gave me seven dollars and fifty cents for my services, 
and ten dollars to carry me home. I was small of 
my age and went at half rates, saving thereby enough 
to bring my money up to thirteen dollars, the amount 
I had stolen from Mr. Skiff ab,out six months before. 
How happy I felt. I had saved about forty dollars 
that summer, and I looked upon this as a sort of " nest- 
egg,'' that would surely increase to a very satisfac- 
tory, if not fabulous sum, by industry and perseve- 
rance. 

I went to school that winter and studied much bet- 
ter than before, because I had burned up my cards 
of my own accord, and left off all my bad habits. 
The next spring Messrs. Smith & Seeley came after 
another drove. I went with them again, and stayed 
with Mr. Smith in Roxbury, Connecticut, about two 
months, then returned, and three months later found 
me again on the old route driving for the same parties 
at fifty cents per day. Returning home, I engaged 
with a drover from Pennsylvania for one dollar a day. 
After this trip, I went one trip with a Jersey drover, 
who gave me the same wages. Winter came and 
found me with eighty dollars saved. I attended school 
that winter, and in the spring of 1865 went to Rox- 
bury, Connecticut again, and worked for Mr. Smith 
on his farm five months, and for Mr. Seeley of the 
town of Washington, Connecticut one month. The 



21 

cattle trade had been dull that year, so I had nothing 
to do in that line, and I could not earn so much on 
a farm, but I managed to save forty dollars, beside 
buying me a good suit of clothes. I returned home 
feeling proud in my new clothes, the second evidence 
of my own industry. 

Oh! what joy at meeting my family once more ; 
yes, it was exceeding great joy, but soon to be broken ; 
my father sickened with a fever, and before any of us 
were aware of the fatality of its character, my father 
had faded away, and just lingered on the confines of 
the other world. How well I remember the doctor's 
coming home with me, and how sad he looked, and 
how low he talked to my mother, and how it seemed 
that a veritable sun-beam was in the house when he 
looked about upon us children, with his calm pleasant 
face, hedged in by that mass of shaggy hair and beard. 
He nursed my father well, and still goes on his pil- 
grimage, relieving suffering and mitigating the ter- 
rors of death. And when the great physician shall 
say to his subordinate, " Well done thou good and 
faithful servant, come thou up higher," then shall he 
be recompensed in the fullest. 

Before my father's death, he sent up a fervent peti- 
tion to high Heaven, asking an absolution of his sins, 
and I believe he received a total remission of them, 
for his countenance beamed with a light that seemed 
too pure and bright for earthly things. Death-bed 
repentances are not held in the highest esteem by the 
majority of people, I am aware, but I sincerely be- 
lieve if there is an inhabitant of Heaven, my father is 



22 

one. One week after we laid him to rest, our hearts 
were gladdened by the arrival of a little baby sister. 
This tended to divert our minds from our sorrow, and 
make the sun to shine again upon our sad young 
hearts. How little there is required to make the 
hearts of little ones truly happy. I have often seen 
a new jacket, or a pair of new shoes, bring more 
genuine happiness into a home circle of little chil- 
dren, than a heavy bank stock will sometimes bring 
to us older ones. I went to school that winter and 
the next, and also working on my Uncle Ebb and 
Joel's farm in Alma, New York in the summer of 
1866 ; and in the summer of 1867 I went down to 
work for Mr. Seeley ; he died suddenly after he wrote 
for me to come ; so I went to work seven months for 
Henry Allen, of Woodbury, Connecticut. The next 
winter I attended school at Pike, Wyoming County, 
New York, at the seminary. A Freewill Baptist 
school, presided over at that time by a very able 
Christian gentleman, D. M. Stuart, whose talent and 
kindness of heart have gained for him an enviable 
reputation throughout that part of the State. And 
just here (hoping you will pardon the digression), let 
me say that this institution, although located in an in- 
land town and lacking some of the natural advantages 
enjoyed by its sister institutions, stands second to 
none in the attainments of its students, and in the 
wealth and social position of its patrons. 

At this institution I boarded myself, did most of my 
own cooking, and received my tuition free for taking 
care of Professor Stuart's team. The next spring he 



23 

gave me my tuition and board for taking care of his 
team and ringing the seminary bell. I was now about 
eighteen, and had confessed God before men, yet at 
this day I am almost pursuaded that it was merely 
lip service; a vain show with but little reality in it. I 
fear if many of us professed Christians would call our 
own hearts to a close personal examination, they 
would appreciate the real truth of what I have ex- 
perienced. That the mere form without the under- 
lying principles, will one day prove a " rope of sand," 
that shall certainly engulf us in obliquy and ruin. 

In the course of the winter term at the seminary, 
the students were asked to desist from attending 
dancing school, which was held at the hotel in the 
village, This charge was given the pupils under pain 
of expulsion, and deterred many from attending. But 
some imperturbable spirits broke over the good Profes 
sor's edict altogether. There was, upon one occasion, 
a donation visit in the seminary hall in the evening, 
and dancing school at the hotel the same evening. I. 
felt a great desire to attend a party and learn to dance. 
I attended the donation, and when all had got to en- 
joying themselves, I slipped quietly out and ran down 
to the dance. I engaged a partner, and had the plea- 
sure of dancing three times. Then I returned to the 
donation, and the affair passed off pleasantly. But 
when the morning came, and the hour for chapel ex- 
ercise arrived there were many anxious faces in the 
room, but I sat there composedly and feared nothing, 
and when I was accused, there were plenty of cham- 
pions on my side, because they had, many of them, seen 



24 

me at the donation the previous evening. I escaped 
detection this time, on account probably of my re- 
puted deed piety, and the fact of my having the Pro- 
fessor of the institution on my side, which of course 
gave me prestige none could overcome. But this 
success was a stumbling block to me, as it gave me 
the feeling of security which is always the most in- 
herent weakness, for it is always under these circum- 
stances that the evil one makes the most successful 
attacks upon our citadel of fancied security. At this 
time there was some of the students expelled for 
breaking the rules, and notably among this number 
the son of M. A, Hull, proprietor of the woolen manu- 
factory in which my father had worked. At vaca- 
tion, Professor Stuart gave me permission to use his 
team to work on the highway, so as to earn some 
money to clothe myself while attending school. I 
needed a wagon to complete my rig, so I drove the 
team up to Hull's one morning, and asked him if I 
could use his wagon that day, as I had got Stuart's 
team. " What/' said he, " Stuart's team and my 
wagon." "No! you can't have it." But as I was 
going out of the yard, he came to the door, and said 
he, " Did you want the wagon for Stuart or yourself," 
" For myself " said I. " Then you can take it, and 
welcome," said he, " but Mr. Stuart can't have anything 
of yaineP Well, you see he was angry at Professor 
Stuart, because in carrying out the rules of the school, 
he had expelled his son- — self-interest versus public 
benefit — and had mercy on me, an orphan boy, who 
felt penitant, and the spirit of God in Brother Stuart's 



25 

heart forgave me just as freely as God forgives all 
who ask in the name of Jesus. 

During this term occurred my eighteenth birthday, 
on the eighteenth day of April, 1868, and in honor of 
this event my good patrons, Mr. and Mrs. Stuart, gave 
me a party, to which all my numerous young friends 
of town were invited, no pains were spared to make 
it pleasant for myself and my young associates. How 
vividly this scene was recalled to my mind when r this 
day four years later, I stood up in the prisoners' dock 
in the court room at Roxbury, Connecticut, to be ex- 
amined on a charge of felony! How my mind went 
back through those years of comparative sunshine, 
only darkened here and there by clouds of my own 
making! And that very thought, that there is no one 
blamable but one's self, always makes the burden 
harder to bear. During the summer vacation I worked 
for Henry Squires, of Castile, on his farm. He was 
a fine man and gave me much advice, and the benefit 
of a life of practical experience. I was to work for 
him two months, but Mr. IT. R. Smith, of Roxbury, 
Connecticut, wrote me that he had a place there for 
* me in a store with B. S. Preston, as one of his clerks 
was then quite sick. Mr. Preston, as I afterwards 
learned, was a scion of the old Puritan stock, of which 
the church-going portion of the inhabitants of the 
New England States is largely composed ; who be- 
lieve that nine o'clock, p. M., is plenty late bed time 
for the average young man, and that sermons on 
Sunday and Sunday school is conducive of good health 
and a fair degree of longevity. After consulting with 



26 

my mother, it was decided I should go and try clerk- 
ing, taking with me the injunction, to be steady and 
not get into " by and forbidden paths," which of course 
was promised as quickly as it was asked ; and I can 
assure you, my dear sir (or madam, as the case may 
be), I had no intentions other than being an honorable, 
upright, and useful member of society. How ulti- 
mately I succeeded in this laudable purpose you will 
see farther on. I entered his store, and things passed 
off pleasantly ? and without anything transpiring 
worthy of note for some time. It was eighteen 
months before I was again in Pike; but let me turn 
back a little and bring up the sentiment-thread of my 
story (for there was one) to the time I left for Con- 
necticut. During my days at school I had taken a 
liking to a young lady then attending school. Miss 
E. A. was a tall, nice-looking girl, with bright eyes 
and a sweet, inoffensive face, and to add to the charm 
of this fair creature, her paternal parent was possessed 
of some hundreds of acres of land, which, as the afore- 
said B,. was the heir by direct descent, was an object 
worth consideration by a comparatively poor lad of 
my age. But with the young, money weighs less 
heavily in the balance than with older people, and I 
believe I can honestly say I never seriously contem- 
plated the possession in part or whole of the old gen- 
tleman's estate. However, I liked to ride with her, 
and frequently Sunday evenings found us attending 
divine service together. The attachment grew, just 
as such attachments always do when the individuals 
are thrown frequently in one another's society, and it 



27 

seemed hard for me to make up my mind to leave for 
Connecticut. Although I felt that it would be the 
best thing for me, especially in a pecuniary point of 
view, had I then married and settled down to a steady 
life of farming, I should probably have formed a 
more extensive acquaintance with c< hard-pan " and 
ox-goads, and been less well versed in the rules of 
Hoyl and the discipline of state prisons and reform- 
atories; but no man gets into mischief without learn- 
ing much that may be of benefit to him at some- 
time during his life. However, I resolved to go, and 
bidding adieu to Miss A., I took my departure to that 
glory of " wooden nutmegs," with mutual protesta- 
tions of the deepest regard and a promise by both 
to maintain a regular correspondence until I should 
return, when we both expected that it " would be all 
right/' as they say. I went, and after a time I com- 
menced paying attentions to ladies of the place, and 
ultimately became quite a beau among them. She 
wrote me that she was having the society of gentle- 
men in that .section, and gradually we came to regard 
each other as friends of a past summer. 

In the meantime my sister Minnie had married Mr. 
Perry Kidder, a half brother of Miss A., who was an 
easy-going iellow, thinking always that the morrow 
would take care of itself, and caring little if the world 
were wrong side up, so long as times were good and 
work easy. 



28 



CHAPTEK IV. 

THE WEDDIXG. 

"Ob, that my people raay never know it !" 

But this is a wrong principle, and the man who 
starts out in life with this idea will find himself up 
high and dry on the quicksand of adversity, with 
only the brackish waters of an unmitigated poverty 
as a beverage, and in the place of bread, a stone. 

I found it very pleasant on entering the store at 
Boxbury. It was one of those ISfew England villages 
that one so often sees in that part of the United States, 
where the village is strung along a country road for 
a mile or so, with its principal headquarters on a four- 
corners^ where a hotel or "rum hole'"' forms the chief 
centre of attraction, and the less notable edifices locate 
themselves at a respectable distance, their proximity 
being commensurate with their local importance; as 
for instance, the blacksmith's shop should be located 
on the opposite corner from the hotel, because the 
maker of iron things is quite apt to want something 
to warm him up in the winter, and, as is usual, takes 
the same to cool him off in the summer. Then, too, 
it is convenient for the farmers when they come to 
town, to have horse-shoeing done, or farming imple- 
ments mended, on rainy days, to lounge into the hotel 
and take a social glass with a neighbor. The com- 



29 

mercial traveller finds it nice to leave his wagon at 
the shop to have certain loose burs tightened, while 
he runs across to the hotel to add one more blossom 
to that already over-blossomed spike that hangs oat 
gracefully from the centre of his face, an index — 
never failing — of a large expense account "for the 
house/' and contentions over bills of goods forwarded 
to individual's, but never sold to them, which gives 
them a lack of confidence in the parties and injures 
their business materially. 

These are not the only reasons why a blacksmith's 
shop should stand in close proximity to a hotel, but 
authorities on the subject insist that they should. 
Then have the corner grocery occupy another neigh- 
borly nearness, in the shape of another corner. Here 
they sell stale fruit, and milk, and herring, and crack- 
ers, and vinegar made from apple peelings, and black 
molasses and mitey cheese ; and away back in the little 
back room, which answers as office, counting-room, 
sample-room, and dormitory, they keep for sale a few 
barrels of choice cider, genuine juice of juicy apples- — 
that's the thing that makes a man's mouth water after 
he has taken a lunch of those fearfully dry crackers 
and salt herring; and, beside that, they have got a 
case of Stoughton'sor McCralie's Forest Bitters, which 
of course they did not buy, but which was left for 
them, just to introduce, you know, by one of the 
"boys," meaning by this, of course, an agent from 
some wholesale liquor house. This "bitters'' gener- 
all} 7 turns out to be a villainous compound of a very 
poor whiskey, with burnt sugar, coculus indicus, 



30 

poison lettuce (lactuca yirosa), and other equally 
noxious agents; bat the most devilish of all is the 
fact that these agents, like opium, to which they are 
closely allied in their character, constantly raise a 
desire for more ; this I would not say was I not con- 
vinced of the fact by my own sad experiences and 
that of hundreds of others about me. Then, too, the 
pages of our public prints are teeming with the expo- 
sitions of these frauds, as well as the reports of chemi- 
cal analyses by our most reputable and skillful 
chemists. Why wilKthe eyes of these tipplers refuse 
to see? Why will their ears refuse to hear? Why 
will their mouths go on imbibing the potion of the 
devil, when he lies rank and black at the bottom of 
the cup? aye, in the very dregs lies madness, lies 
cruelty, lies poverty, lies murder, and he that escapes 
each one of these should be grateful to his Grod that 
he has been so merciful to him. 

The arrangement of these towns should comprise 
within its limits somewhere, a Post Office. This will 
be attended, of course, by a soldier of the late war; 
what is better, if he is to be had, a veteran of the war 
of 1812. This individual must be very old, very de- 
crepid, read with glasses, have but one arm, have his 
opposite pedal extremity, which he left on the gory 
field of battle as a souvenir to the god of war, sup- 
plied from timber, and above all, have his office about 
three- fourths of a mile from the business portion of 
the town, while he resides, say half a mile in the op- 
posite direction ; so if you should want anything of 
this piece of humanity, you could step up to his 



31 

residence and find him weeding onions, or carefully 
thinning out beets for "greens." 

Be sure to have the office of the justice of the peace 
at a good round distance from the hotel, so that any 
midnight carousals, or unseemly conversation may 
not disturb his justiceship. It is convenient to have 
your physician's office near the hotel, so that if it 
becomes necessary for the proprietor to knock down 
some belligerent individual who was having more of 
a ° craze" than common, the M. D. could fix him 
up as a severe case of brain fever, and then expatiate 
largely on the kindness of mine host in caring so 
kindly for the poor fellow. 

But pardon me in this lengthy digression. I was 
writing I believe, of the town of Roxbury, in the State 
of Connecticut, where I made my debut as a clerk, in 
the firm of B. S. Preston, general dealer in all kinds 
of goods usually found in a country store. There was 
there before me, a young man, by name Horace Gil- 
lett, who had been with Mr. Preston some time. Six 
months after I went there, Mr. Preston took him into 
partnership under the firm name of Preston & Gillett. 
This was the name of the firm when I left; when I 
went there I called myself a Christian, whether I was 
or not, I leave to the judgment of God. But however, 
I attended church and Sunday school regularly, and 
tried to walk in the straight and narrow way. I made 
friends rapidly, as I always did when I was honest 
and deserving, among my associates there were some 
whose moral character was not entirely unapproach- 
able. These young men were pleasant to meet, genial 



32 

fellows, from old and respected families, whose chief 
fault consisted in their being too lavish with their 
money; driving too fast horses, and taking a little too 
much wine now and then on some certain occasions. 
As I became acquainted with them, they extended to 
me the right hand of fellowship most cordially, they 
came often to the store, conversing so agreeably, that 
I overlooked the tanks that should have guarded a 
good Christian against their society. At last they 
came on Sunday afternoon and asked me to ride, just 
to go to ride they said, no harm in that. They had 
fine carriages and fine horses, and were reputed to be 
fine men themselves, so I went. We would ride to 
Woodbury, Southbury, New Milford or Washington, 
small places at a short distance from Roxbury, or 
sometimes we would go up to the lake, some ten or 
twelve miles distant and take a ride on the water ; we 
would have a cigar, or some clams or oysters, and 
"finally a glass of wine. I gradually fell off from 
church and Sunday school, and came to like these 
Sunday drives more and more. At last one day I 
went off on a ride with ajrouug man of the place (who, 
if he ever reads this, will remember the coming 
home). We partook bountifully of oysters, clams 
and wine, until we became quite hilarious. After the 
usual amount of :i splurge " at the hotel, in showing 
off our horse (and ourselves in the meantime), we 
started for home, and made such rapid transit that 
we did not get over the effects of our wine before we 
reached there. I was far worse off* than my compan- 
ion, who was more used to drink than myself, so bad 



33 

off indeed that he deemed it inexpedient to leave me 
at the store, for fear that Horace Gillett might find it 
out and report me to Mr. Preston, so he took me home, 
and we cursed and vomited by turns until we had 
thrown off our unsightly burden, and lapsed into a 
drunken stupor that poorly counterfeited sleep, but 
splendidly prepared us for the most disagreeable sen- 
sations imaginable for the next couple of days. But 
once (and that was after I had been there near two 
years), on coming home in a rather " fuddled " condi- 
tion, I concluded I was sober enough to go in and 
sleep in the store as I usually did, so in I went; it 
was warm weather, and I soon began to feel sick and 
miserable ; then, Horace Gillett, who slept with me, 
said "Lonnie you are drunk, for I can smell whiskey 
every time you vomit." Well I was, there is no 
mistake about that, and the long and short of the 
matter was that Gillett reported me to Mr. Preston, 
and he asked me about it, and told me I must leave 
these associates and these habits if I wished to remain 
with him. I fancied he was more crusty than was 
pleasant, and as I had an offer from a firm in New 
Milford, where I really thought I could do better, I 
very nearly decided to go at once. There was a little 
balance in my favor with my employers, but when I 
asked them for it Mr. Preston said if I left him in that 
way, he guessed he would'nt be any more than whole 
if he kept it, and keep it he did. But I made up my 
mind I would have it some way. You will see how 
I undertook te get it, and what I got in return. So 
I went to clerk for Messrs. S. & S., of New Mil- 

2* 



34 

ford. They told me they did not care how much I 
rode with the girls, or where I spent my Sundays, or 
if I occasionally went to the billiard rooms, evenings 
after closing the store, or if I treated a customer now 
and then, or allowed one to treat me, just to please 
him you know, but Mr. S. said he thought it looked 
bad for young men to spend much time in the saloons. 
So here I was to have my liberty, all that was re- 
quired of me, was to be at business during business 
hours, and then wherever I pleased after that. Well 
this now was certainly just the thing, and I dove 
deeper into the gayety and follies of society, than ever 
before. 

And now my dear reader, allow me to digrees 
slightly, and tell you the respective positions that these 
two firms occupy to-day. The firm of Preston & Gillett 
are no more." Old Mr. Preston, grown rich by economy 
and industry, retired, while his place was filled by 
Grillett's younger brother. So the firm is now Gillett 
Bros., and S. & S. are no longer a firm. They dissolved, 
it is said, after they had cheated their creditors and 
squandered the profits, and are now worthies members 
of society, idling about bar-rooms and corner gro- 
ceries ; allowing people to treat them when any are 
foolish enough to do so, and dragging out their lives 
in poverty and disgrace. " They sowed the wind, and 
are reaping the whirlwind ;" whereas, if they had said 
it looked bad for men (instead of young men), to spend 
much time in the saloons, and taken it to themselves, 
they might have been the leading merchant princes of 
N. M. today. In the meantime, I had formed the ac- 



35 

quaintance of Miss J, A , a young lady living 
near town. She was a bright, amiable girl, and I en- 
joyed her society very much. We often rode together, 
and frequently attended church. She was very fond 
of jewelry and display of that character, and I thought 
it became necessary for me to contribute something to 
the general fund, and by those means secure the 
good graces of the young lady. So I traded a carpet 
and other things from S. & S.'s store, which they let 
me have at cost price, with J. B. Capron (proprietor 
of the best jewelry store in ~N. M., who is still doing 
a good business), for a gold watch and chain, a set of 
jewelry and a ring. I had also opened a correspond- 
ence with an old school mate of mine, when in Pike, 
by name Ella Fish. She was the only daughter of a 
farmer in ordinary circumstances (a twin sister of E. 
L. F., then studying medicine. This family of four 
was so happy, I always enjoyed a visit there), living 
in an adjoining township, four or five miles from the 
village of Pike. She was a fine-looking girl, with 
large blue eyes and chestnut hair, a very good scholar, 
and an excellent musician. I was very much pleased 
with her letters, as she was a fine writer, and came to 
look forward to the time of their reception with a great 
amount of pleasure, which was genuine. In January, 
1870, 1 took a trip to New York State. Went to Pike 
and saw my friends there, then went to Centerville, 
and saw Miss Fish. We took a trip to Niagara Falls, 
and before I returned I was " engaged" to her, and I 
meant to be a true and honorable man. But, alas! 
for the flimsy promises of mankind, when not based 



36 

upon "the rock that is higher than I." I returned, 
and again resumed the pleasures of other ladies' 
society. I had contracted the habit of taking a social 
glass, and many a time did I go home at night, feeling 
as if I was "monarch of all I surveyed." On these 
occasions dry goods boxes, ash barrels, and the like, 
furnished convenient objects on which to vent my 
feelings of hilarity. 

As the summer wore on into autumn, I was very 
attentive to Miss J. A., and on one occasion after 
I had visited her people with her from Saturday night 
until Monday morning, the story was pretty freely 
circulated that we were married. I wrote this in jest 
to P. L. Kidder, and he told Miss R. A. of it for 
a truth, and she told Miss Fish, and that little lady 
deeming me faithless like the rest of mankind, or as 
they are reputed to be, began encouraging the atten- 
tion of a young man of the town of Pike, who, pecuni- 
arily, was a far better match than myself. I was not 
aware of the fact, though, and thinking her unusual si- 
lence portentious, I finally resolved to go to Center- 
ville and ascertain the cause. I went, and, as I knew, 
she was attending school at Pike with her brother. 
I could not refrain from calling upon her. This I did, 
and as I went in, I caught a glimpse of a young man in 
the other room, and I knew at once I had a rival. This 
fired all the jealousy in my nature, and made me de- 
termine that I would capture the prize without delay. 
I had a talk with her, told her my wicked folly in 
writing of my marriage, and begged her to take me 
back and forgive my foolishness, which she did. We 



37 

were married at her father's house on September 25th, 
1871. Her parents made a large wedding for us, con- 
sidering the shortness of the time allowed. We were 
married about 11 o'clock A. M. ; had dinner, and 
then started for Castile to take the cars for home. 
We took the train at 5 p. M., and breakfast 9 A. M. 
next morning at St. Nicholas Hotel, Broadway, New 
York. Then to Central Park, was cnught in the rain, 
and hastened on to N. M. I had serious forbod- 
ings of evil before I arrived at New Milford. I knew 
th.it I had promised to marry a lady in Connecticut and 
here was I returning with a wife of my own. But I 
passed the ordeal of meeting my numerous acquaint- 
ances, for I knew my marriage in New York State 
was an entire surprise to them. We put up at the 
New England House, registered as A. E. Carr and 
wife. I had resolved on our journey out, that I would 
reform, and try to live a more honest and upright 
life, for I felt how cruelly I had deceived my young 
wife, as well as her parents who supposed me a sober, 
industrious young man, and one of good principles. 
But my resolution was soon broken, for after arrang- 
ing matters at the hotel, I went clown to the store to 
impart the news to my employers, and receive their 
congratulations, these last I received in a "tumbler," of 
course, and so substantially, that I forgot my resolu- 
tions to do better, forgot my reputation, forgot my 
young wife sitting alone in the hotel, and drank and 
caroused until quite late at night. When I returned 
I found her waiting patiently for me, and solicitous 
after my welfare. But I was a little too "far gone, 1 ' 



38 

to make all look right to her. She immediately re- 
cognized my condition, and you can imagine the feel- 
ings of a young wife launched upon married life, far 
from friends, far from home, with a husband who ap- 
peared from this outlook very much like a very 
thorough drunkard. What wonder, then, that she 
exclaimed — and I shall remember the exclamation as 
long as I remember anything — u Oh ! that my people 
may never know it." I pacified her this time by 
telling her that 'she must make allowances. That a 
man didn't get married, usually, but once in his life, 
and that being solicited to take a little wine by my 
friends, and being unused to drink, it had gone to my 
head. She accepted this construction, bat I felt that 
I had fallen one hundred degrees, in the estimation of 
my wife, in the space of twelve hours. Only once 
or twice, while I remained in New Milford, did my 
wife see me in so bad a condition. But I must con- 
fess, although it shamed me to do so, that no day 
passed in which I did not drink more or less of the 
beverage of hell. I did not remain long in New Mil- 
ford after my return. I thought I discovered an ex- 
cellent opening for a store at a small place about five 
miles from there, called Ohalybes, in the town of 
E,., and only about one mile from P. & G-.'s store. 
There was not much of a town there. One small 
store, a large boarding house, and a large silver- 
steel manufactory or furnace, surrounded by the small 
houses of the operatives, who " earned their daily 
bread by the sweat of their brows," in a temperature, 



39 

winter and summer, of not less than ninety degrees 
"in the shade." 



CHAPTER V. 

GOING INTO BUSINESS. FAIL, AND WHY. LEAVING 
THE INNOCENT WIFE. 

To this place I resolved to go. And canvassing 
about among my friends, I found plenty who would 
go my security for goods. So I rented a building 
that had been previously used as a store, and had my 
goods shipped on. They were then engaged in build- 
ing a railroad through the place. The Shepang Val- 
ley Railroad, it was called, and there was a prospect 
that the little mining town would feel the iron pulse 
of a public thoroughfare, which was to place it in 
direct communication with the outside world, and 
number it as of more than ordinany importance. The 
silver-steel manufactured here, could be shipped 
by this road to places where it could be used in the 
construction of hay- forks, scythes, and other imple- 
ments. This industry furnished plenty of employ- 
ment for a large number of men whose trade, I was 
sure to receive, as I could back their accounts, and 
receive payment from the bosses or paymasters, on 
the fifteenth of each month. Now this was a good 
arrangement, for I could buy my goods on time ; sell 
them on fifteen or thirty days' time ; pay for my goods 



40 

and have my profits (which were large for my stock), 
to invest. 

I was making money fast, my sales were large, 
principally of boots, shoes and leather goods, coarse 
woolen and cotton snoods and groceries. I mi^ht 
have made a nice snugr little sum of monev in a short 
time, could I have been contented to have remained 
there and let rum alone, all went on well (of course I 
occasionally come home a little " starry "when I had 
been away on business, as I frequently did, leaving 
my young wife to attend to the store), but in the main 
I was pretty straight for a month or two, after I went 
to Chalybes. But one fatal day along came an agent 
from ^ew Haven, I think, selling a preparation he 
called '' Hall's Bitters.'*' He solicited me strongly to 
buy a case, representing the large profit to be made from 
the sale of it. In vain, my wife urged me not to buy 
it,, so, also did one of my endorsers. But I was dumb 
to their entreaties, and when the fellow left, he had 
an order from me for about $80.00 worth of the com- 
pound ; I had in the meantime laid in a supply of 
cider, and this was going off rapidly at rive cents a 
glass. 

When the "Bitters" came, I, of course, had to 
treat all around, and got. gloriously drunk myself. 
But this was only the beginning of bad things. The 
employees hung about my place, buying cider and 
bitters, and paying me money, they would otherwise 
have paid me for necessary articles that would have 
increased a legitimate business, while their families 
went illv shod and clothed. Many a time have I laid 



41 

three or four men away stupidly drunk in my back- 
room to sleep off the effects of their bitters, and 
awake again and call for more, which they knew I 
was willing to supply as long as the money lasted. 
This state of things, the carousing, profane and vul- 
gar language, and the indecent expositions so con- 
tinually going on, drove my wife away from the store, 
and forced her to remain at our boarding place most 
of the time. 

Often would she remonstrate with me for my con- 
duct, and tell me — as my best friend— where the 
course 1 was pursuing, would lead to, but with curses, 
I would tell her to mind her own business, and let my 
affairs alone. O, how bitterly have I repented, as I 
sat in my prison cell ; the many hash words, yes, 
blows I gave that gentle woman. Ah ! the shame, the 
disgrace, the abasement of soul, of the man who can 
abuse the woman he has sworn to love and protect, 
within three months from'|feat day. 

Yet I have suffered enough, it seems to me, to, in 
part, atone for the wrongs 1 have done, and " God be 
merciful to me a sinner," is my everyday prayer. 

No license is necessary in Connecticut from town 
authorities for selling bitters by the bottle when 
sealed and stamped. Mrs. Randall, the good old lady 
who owned the building I occupied, would not allow 
rum to be sold on her premises, even in the shape of 
cider and bitters. Would there were more such 
women. After being warned twice to abstain from 
selling liquor or vacate the place, I concluded it 
would become policy to desist. But here was another 



4r2 

difficulty to be met. People — or the respectable part 
of community — had got in the habit of going to 
Leavenworth's, the other store, to do their trading, in 
preference to running their chances of being insulted 
by the half-drunken crowd that usually hung about 
my place, filling up the seats and occupying every 
box and barrel outside. 

In this manner, matters had gone on until I found 
the receipts were not sufficient to pay my bills. -At 
this time, my wife — by exposure, care and grief prob- 
ably — fell sick with a bilious fever. This added 
to my anxiety in my sober moments, but soon as I 
was at the store, I was steeped in the grossest intoxi- 
cation. It seemed that this place was li played out," 
as the saying is. That it was too small for all the 
grand achievements I had planned for the future. I 
was married, that I well knew, and I had married to 
spite a certain individual, of that I was equally certain, 
and my business was running behind. Why ? Simply 
because I sold the goods and drank up the profits, and 
drove people who would have traded with me away, 
because of my evil courses. What was to be done. 
I could not give up drink, it had become a- habit 
firmly fixed. I could not pay my bills, because my 
money was gone, and so were most of my goods. At 
last I hit upon the expedient, sell off" my goods for 
what they would fetch, turn everything into money, 
tell my wife I was involved and must leave until my 
matters are settled, and then I would return for her, and 
we would try life under new and better circumstances. 
Bright prospects were before me ; I would go West, 



48 

to that paradise of the lazy man, where he expects 
money to grow on the bushes, and he is equally cer- 
tain that his supper is to be prepared for him by some 
mysterious useen agency. I would go there, invest 
my money in real estate and stock, hurd them, and 
fatten large droves each year for eastern markets, sell 
them and put the "chink " down in my long pocket, 
and ere long return wealthy and respected, to indulge 
my connoisseur fancy in Ct Black Jerry" and u Tom 
Gin, ' ad infinitum. Or I might go to Florida, and 
directly own an orange grove so ample as to supply 
the whole city trade of New York, or a city like Buf- 
falo, at least. Or I might get to be proprietor of 
a Mississippi steamboat, and then, hire a sailing 
master, I would have an opportunity to examine 
into that very interesting little game that has grown 
to be almost a part of steamboating, viz. : Three-card- 
monte, or what is more familiarly known (especially 
by those who have suffered by it), as " Thimble rig." 
This I did. Told my wife a falsehood, told my backers 
several more, and then made arrangements to get rid 
of my goods. Large covered wagons came for them, 
and I had my money in crisp ■" greenbacks " when the 
last bale of goods was stowed in the wagons. 

I gave Charles Squires an order to collect a bill of 
the Shepang Valley Railroad Company I had against 
their employees, which he did, and paid our board 
bill which had run up to about seventy dollars. I 
had been collecting for some time and had quite an 
amount of money. 

After my goods had all gone I went up to the 



44 

boarding house to take leave of ray wife. This was 
the hardest part of all, and I for once shrunk from 
meeting the woman I was about to wrong so grossly. 
But I must brave it through to the " bitter end," for 
I well knew I must be out of Connecticut before 
daylight, or in all probability, I would not get out at 
all. I went up and spoke kindly to my sick wife, 
told her I was going away to seek employment else- 
where, and when I found a good place I would send 
for her. This comforted her in a measure, for she 
had never thought of being separated from me, even 
though I was sometimes harsh and cruel to her, and 
telling her to be a good girl until I returned, I kissed 
her and went. Went out into that chill January air, 
a stranger to all good things, and a wanderer among 
men, not knowing where I was o-oino:, and not carina, 

i O CO 7 O ' 

so long as I went into dissipation, I cared not how 
deep. 



CHAPTER VI. 



DISSIPATION ASTD CRIME. 



I TOOK the cars for Bridgeoort, and boat from there 
to New York, the first day of January, 1872. with a 
determination to have a. loud time of it before I again 
saw Connecticut. At New York city I mailed a let- 
ter to my wife's friends in the countrj 7 -, to come and 
get her. This letter I cannot remember entirely, but 
the substance of it was that they must come and get 



45 

her, and take good care of her, I could not, I was 
really too wild. That I had become involved and 
had to go away for a while. I knew very well that 
long before they would get this letter — that would 
fall like a thunder clap upon them — I should be far 
away West, might possibly have put the Mississippi 
between them and me. From New York I went to 
Chicago. This you will remember was soon after 
the great fire, and as I descended from the cars in 
the gray light of morning, you can imagine that the 
appearance of the city was gloomy in the extreme. 
I remained in the city one day and night, and visited 
many places of interest. I spent my money freely, 
rode in expensive carnages, paid fabulous fees to 
the waiters of the hotels for trilling services, drank 
expensive liquors, and lived. generally in a style to 
impress people with the opinion that I was "some- 
body." While"! was in Chicago, I wrote the follow- 
ing note to my mother: 

Chicago, III., Thursday Night, January 4, l. Q 72. 

Dear Ma : — lb is nine p. m., and I am here, one thousand 
miles away, and my baggage is here with me, all right. Shall 
leave here at eight, to-morrow morning, and Saturday night 
I'll be one thousand miles south from here. Oh, such a level 
country I have ridden through to day. Not a stone to be seen, 
nor a flake of snow. I will write again Sunday. 

From your son, Lonnie. 

I wrote another letter before I left Chicago, this 
was to one of my friends. Chas. S., of Eoxbury. I 
subjoin portions of it: — Please send me the money on 
the accounts ; I am in need of it; I wrote to Ella's 



46 

people to come for her ; have they come ? You must 
not give her much, of my money, because she does 
not know where I am, or where I am going to stop. 
I have written to her only once since I came away. 
They all take me for a young unmarried man here. 
Yesterday a young man drove down here with a nice 
turnout and asked me to ride, he drove up to a nice 
house and invited me in. There was two very pretty 
sisters there, and after introducing me, we asked 
them to ride, which of course they did ; now how is 
that for friends, so soon after my arrival. These 
ladies, with others of the same stripe appear to like 
me very much, but I guess if they should see some of 
the letters in my pocket, particularly those from Ella, 
they would change their minds. 

The latter part of this letter is taken from one 
written in Mobile, Ala., under date of January 11th, 
1872. I was now madly plunging into the vortex of 
dissipation. My mind was scarce ever clear from the 
fog of rum. If ever it was, it was early in the morn- 
ning, and the disagreeable sensations caused by the 
previous night's debauch, drove me to seek to drown 
my trouble in greater indulgence. I stopped at the 
Gulf City Hotel while in Mobile, taking first-class 
accommodations, with expenses at about $100.00 per 
month. This could not last long unless I some way 
managed to increase my capital stock of money, so I 
took up the occupation of a gambler, and performer 
of card tricks. 1 traveled up and down the Missis- 
sippi and Tombigbee rivers, gambling on the boats, 
with all I could get to play with me. I occasionally 



47 

ran across a fellow who was too much for me, but 
usually I was very successful. Some days I would 
make $30.00 in playing billiards or cards, but my 
money was easily made, and spent as easily. When 
I was in the city, it was nothing for me to spend fif- 
teen or twenty dollars in a single night. The pro- 
gramme was about this: — In the early part of the 
evening, take a ride for a couple of hours with a 
young lady or two (with frequent calls of course, to 
stimulate), then to the theatre, then a champagne sup- 
per, and then home with the girls to "row" around 
all the rest of the night. I saw my stock of money 
was becoming fearfully depleted under this pressure, 
and began to cast about me for something to do. I 
tried to make an engagement with one merchant and 
another, but the majority of them were posted on the 
kind of man I was, and did not care to employ me at 
any price. I found one man who assured me that he 
would like my help, and if things were all right, on the 
next Monday morning he would set me to work. I 
went at the appointed time, but, says be, I guess I will 
have to dispense with your services, I don't have any 
of your kind of men about me. He had employed a 
detective to watch me, and he had reported the com- 
pany I kept and the places I visited, and my charac- 
ter had lost me the place. The next place I tried was 
on Dauphin street, the proprietor (T. R.) agreed to 
give me $60.00 per month for the first month, and 
$100.00 after that if we could agree. I went there 
to clerk for him, this was doing finely. The sales 
were large and the establishment comparatively small, 



48 

business was carried on something: like that in a coun- 
try store Well at last I was well "fixed," as they 
say S60.00 would pay my board nicely (for I had left 
the Gulf City for appartments nearer my business.) 

I soon became pretty well known in different parts 
of the city, known too well to be pleasant, for with 
the consciousness of wrong doing ever before my 
eyes, I was constantly dreading the future ; in the day 
time I dreaded the night, in the night, the day. T. R. 
had accused me of stealing, and I was too well ac- 
quainted with the protective rules of business men to 
doubt for a moment that before another eight and 
forty hours had passed, every merchant of any im- 
portance in the city would be apprised of it, and be 
on the lookout to prevent being imposed upon. 

Under these circumstances I felt of course, just as 
any half drunken fellow always does, that his friends 
are abusing him in some manner; so, of course, the 
most natural thing in the world was to try to get 
even with him. There were two men in Mobile whom 
I knew were ripe for any "diity" work I might have 
on hand, so we agreed to go for Mr. R., and then I 
would sail north immediately, and they would seek 
seclusion in some of the deserted sugar and cotton 
plantations along the Tombigbee. 

The scheme was well laid but it failed, that is in the 
success we had hoped for, but it did not fail in one 
thing, that is in my immediately going north. I 
went out to the ship in the night, and under cover of 
the darkness got aboard of it. It was the Governor 
J. Y. Smith, with cotton, consigned to a manufacturing 



49 

firm in Providence, B. I., Crowle & Kickersons. On 
my arrival I went to where I received several good 
letters that brought the tears to my eyes, especially the 
one from Ella, with the one I received from her mother 
in Mobile, just before I left, was too much ; here is part 
of it 

Oh ! Lonnie : — How can we give you up and think our Lon- 
nie has goue from us ; gone, never to gladden our hearts again 
with his dear presence. 

Let me beg of you to shake off those idle habits you have 
contracted ; quit unprofitable company aud unseasonable recrea- 
tions, thoughtless habits that cannot afford the least satisfaction 
beyond the present hour, if in that ; consider that when a man 
suffers himself to go backward in the world, it must be an un- 
common spirit of industry that retrieves him and puts him 
forward again. Our very imagination reaches to eternity, in 
spite of all that can be said by the most obstinate atheist, or our 
own doubts can devise. For that reason, think deeply, and in 
time, resolve on such a course of action that shall bring justice 
to your friends and credit to yourself for the remainder of your 
life. Be sure, with a hallowed care, to have respect to all the 
commaudments of God, aud not give yourself to neglect them in 
the least, lest, by degrees, you come to forget them. 

Oh, how bitterly I repented for not taking advice 
given in the above letter, when, two months later, I 
received the following from the same hand and heart. 

Once our Darling Boy:— Oh, how sad to think of the 
chauge. Also the change in the dear little innocent, unsuspect- 
ing girl you promised (only eight short months ago; to love aud 
protect as long as you should live. 

Why is it you have done so? One who might have been so 
near perfection, capable in all things of doiug so much good in 
the world, and exertiug an influence over others that might 
have been such a source of happiness to them, in place of 

o 
o 



50 

crushing out their young lives, aud causing a shadow of gloom 
and sadness over a whole household that can never be dispersed, 
and blasting all your own bright prospects of happiness for the 
future. Hear, now, the instructions of friends, and lose not 
the time of your youth, but gather those seeds of virtue and 
knowledge that may be_ of use to you aud comfort to your 
friends for the remainder of your life. I will collect the powers 
of my soul, and ask blessings for you with the holy violence of 
prayer. We find that all our schemes are quickly at an end, 
and that we must soon lie down with the forgotten multitudes 
of former ages, and yield our places to others. Perhaps this 
interruption is for your eternal good ; hope it may prove so for 
your sake and your friends. L. pray that henceforth you may 
be kept from evil, and that God, in his infinite mercy, may as- 
sist you under this terrible affliction. 

Your Mother, P. R. F. 

This letter, written one month after ray arrest, in- 
terested me so much, because Ella's mamma wrote it. 
I read it repeatedly, and four years after its date, the 
words were fresh in my memory, and were instru- 
mental, with others, of leading me to Christ. I am 
getting ahead of my story ; tarn back a little. 

As we went up the side of the ship, followed by 
my trunk, and a case of wine and cigars with which 
I had provided myself before leaving land. I felt 
like a new man. I was going home. Oh ! home is a 
beacon-light forever. No matter how we have sinned. 
~No matter what demon has possessed our hearts. If 
we ever have a home and love it, it will never be for- 
gotten. I have prayed many times I might never 
feel the desolation of being without a home. We 
may marry and have a home of our own, with all 
that is bright and beautiful about it, but the feeling 



5t 

will come sometimes to us, like a great sorrow, that 
it is not the old home. No ! no ! 

I found the captain a jolly, good-natured fellow, 
with a great, hairy face that reminded one of a polar 
bear. I had told him how I was situated. Would I 
had taken his advice and gone straight home from 
Providence. I found that he was not backward about 
accepting my invitation to use my cigars and wine. 
In fact, he and I both kept pretty well soaked during 
the whole voyage, except when I was so seasick that 
it was impossible for me to sit up, then I did not care 
for drink, and as I lay in my berth, I repented, oh ! 
so bitterly my past folly, and resolved that if ever I 
was better I would strive to live a new and better life. 
But when the sickness had passed, the resolutions 
were washed away with rum. Alas ! too many have 
passed in the same manner. 

Nothing of any moment occurred while on ship- 
board. When I was able I was on deck most of the 
time. I had little to do and I should have enjoyed 
it greatly if I had not been constantly smitten with 
remorse. But then I would think, " a gay life and a 
short one for me." I left Mobile, Ala, at eight A. M., 
Monday morning, February 26th, 1872, and the exact 
date of my arrival at Providence, I cannot remember, 
as on account of my sickness, I did not keep track of 
the time. 

I ran about considerable, and began to think I 
would settle down and try to do something honest. I 
noticed an inquiry for a clerk in a Boston, Massachu- 
setts, paper, and concluded I would go and see if I 



52 

could not get into business, so I ran up there, saw the 
man who had advertised and partly made arrange- 
ments to go to work for him. Under date of March 
23d, 1872, I wrote my wife's people a portion of the 
letter I give as it fully explains itself. " I am going 
to run around some. Shall go back down to Provi- 
dence to-night, and if I do not find a good place 
pretty soon I'll go for my southern business again. 
It is the easiest way to get money, but large risks to 
run, beside the night and day business. I know you 
don't approve of my conduct, but ah! none know or 
mistrust the half I have told you. 

" Please burn all my letters like this, and the enveU 
opes with northern postmarks, as I may do something, 
I don't want Eastern people to know. If I do what I 
planned last night, and get out of it all-right, in less 
than ten days, I'll be out there. I am going to un- 
dertake a large job, and I may not be successful, but 
I have hopes of it yet." 

I was in Boston when I wrote this letter, but that 
night I went to New Haven. I had been thinking 
for some days (as I was short of money), about the 
little balance due me from B. S. Preston. This would 
be a godsend just at this stage of the game, and why 
not get it out of the old fellow. I thought all these 
things over as I lay tossing in my bed, unable to 
sleep and not caring what I did so long as it was 
profitable in dollars and cents. I had made up my 
mind at last what I would do, or attempt to do, and 
allowing myself no time for reflection, I dashed on 
madly to ruin. The morning of March 25th, 1872, 



53 

dawned beautifully upon the face of mother earth, and 
I was astir earlier than was my wont, I felt nervous 
and anxious, I went down to the bar of the hotel and 
took a heavy dram. This steadied my nerves and I 
ate a good breakfast. After breakfast and a cigar, 
I strolled about the Adams House, and out into the 
town, up Washington street a few doors, and called 
at the bar in that large billiard room where I had 
spent so much money in a few days, drank more rum, 
a nd before long-began to feel more at ease. 

After dinner I strolled out to a liquor store, and 
having a bottle filled with rum I went back to the 
hotel, took their check for my baggage, and took the 
train for New Haven, after calling on a friend at the 
Tremont House and flirting with the students for the 
last time, as they came out of school directly opposite. 
From New Haven I struck out on foot for Roxbury. 
I knew the road well, and concluded to walk to avoid 
the chance of being met by those with whom I was 
acquainted. Every time I would hear a carriage 
coming I would jump over the fence into the field 
and hide until they passed. Nothing of importance 
occurred on my way up. Great savage-looking dogs 
came bounding out from the farm-houses, barking and 
growling out their displeasure at thus being disturbed 
by a nocturnal traveller ; and although there was 
some ice in places in the road, for the most part the 
travelling was good. At last I came in sight of the 
lights at Roxbury, and cautiously nearing the town 
I hid myself in an old shed by the roadside, just at 



54 

the outskirts of the town. Here I awaited patiently 
the hour when good men betake themselves to bed 
and refreshing slumber. Gradually darkness settled 
down upon the little town, the lights went out one by 
one, and passers became less frequent upon the road. 
I knew my time had come. I would enter the town, 
do my work, and leave it before the people should 
arouse from their first nap ; so, with beating heart, 
and my ears wide open for unusual sounds, I crept on 
into the village. Noiselessly I pursued my way along 
the principal street, and before many minutes stood 
before the old store where I had spent two very 
pleasant years. On my way up, I had stopped at a 
small town, where there was a large manufactory of 
carpenter's tools, and purchased an auger. This was 
an improved variety, with an adjustable handle, so I 
could roll the whole up in a paper and slip it into my 
pocket. I reached the store without being observed, 
and passing around to the stables examined the lock. 
It was the same that had done duty there when I was 
a clerk, and a key to which I carried in my pocket, 
and had ever since I left there. In an instant I had 
unlocked the door, and was greeted by the horses 
with a friendly neigh. I knew the horses well — for 
I had taken care of them more or less during my 
clerkship with Mr. Preston, — and I selected a fine, 
heavy brown horse, whose large limbs and protruding 
muscles bespoke for him great endurance, if no great 
speed. It was but a moment's work to saddle him, 
and slipping the bridle over his head I hitched him 
in a manner to be easily undone and directed my 



95 

attention to the store. At the door I paused to listen. 
All was still as death, and taking out my auger I 
commenced my work. I knew the exact location of 
the bolts, and went vigorously to work. I soon suc- 
ceeded in boring out all the bolts on the outer door, 
and noiselessly it swung on its hinges. I next 
attacked the bolts of the inner door — two in number, 
— and having drawn back the upper one, commenced 
on the last. The auger holes would admit my hands, 
and I was at work making the last in the bottom 
when an unlucky splinter caught and snapped vio- 
lently. In two minutes more I would have been in 
the office, and with a key to the safe in my pocket 
the funds therein deposited would have been at my 
disposal ; but the cracking of the splinter awoke the 
clerks, who immediately jumped out of bed to investi- 
gate, and while they were getting on their unmen- 
tionables, I flew to the stables, mounted the noble 
horse I had previously saddled, and before they had 
time to collect their scattered ideas, was tearing down 
the road at a speed that promised fair for safety. I 
knew that as soon as a horse could be hitched up I 
would be pursued, so at the first cross-road I turned 
off, and riding into a little thicket at the roadside, 
dismounted and listened. I had not long to wait 
before I was greeted by the sound of wheels, and 
presently down the road came a buggy, tearing along- 
over the hubs and ice, and drawn by the mate of the 
horse I was at that moment holding by the bit. On 
they came, and sooner than it takes for me to write 



56 

it they had passed the cross-road, and the din of 
wheels became indistinct in the distance. 



CHAPTER VII. 



MORE CRIME. 



As the sound of wheels became less and less 
distinct, I mounted "old !N"ig " — as the horse was 
familiarly known — and rode slowly forward. I 
wished, if possible to pass a certain house on the 
road, without being observed. This was the house of 
one Thomas, who was a cattle buyer; and who en- 
joyed quite a reputation as a " night hawk," so I let 
the horse walk. Rearing the house I observed a 
light in the barn, and putting the horse down to his 
*' softest " walk, I passed by ; as I was nearly past the 
barn, some one in the barn sung out, " Go it," and 
touching the rowel to the old fellow's side, I did u go 
it." After this I rode on faster, taking a westerly 
course. Once as I was turning a corner at a full run 
the old fellow struck some hidden ice, and went down. 
The shock was so sudden, that I was thrown ten or 
fifteen feet upon the frozen ground, hurting my knee 
very badly. In a moment the thought flashed into 
my mind, what if I had broken a limb! But I 
jumped up quickly and caught Nig before he could 
get up, and although he flounced badly, and swung 
me up high and dry off the ground, I succeeded in 



57 

quieting him, and getting him up near a fence. I 
succeeded in mounting him, and rode on a trifle more 
slowly, and kept a better lookout for ice. My leg- 
pained me badly, and I had frequently to dismount 
and bathe it. In the meantime, our thaw had "caught 
cold," as the old settlers say, and a light snow began 
to fall. This worried me- some, as I feared I might 
be tracked, but I kept bravely on. Along towards 
morning as I got down from the horse to bathe my 
leg, a large dog came bounding out from a neighbor- 
ing farm yard, and so frightened the good horse, that 
he nearly left me. I would break the ice and dash 
the freezing water upon my limb until it burned like 
fire, then mount and press on. 

My original plan had been to ride the horse almost 
to New Haven and then tie up the reins and let him 
go back, but my scheme of robbery had not "panned 
out " for what I expected, and I changed my course 
and kept on straight for New York State. 

At a little before noon on March 26th, 1872, I rode 
up to the Morgan house, in Poughkeepsie, New York, 
and ordered dinner for myself and horse. I had rode 
fifty good miles, in twelve hours, without any stops, 
except to get my little pocket flask replenished, now 
and then as occasion demanded. I have felt " old " 
in my life before and since, but never, in my memory, 
so lame and sore and miserable as then. I could 
hardly stand, and it was a great relief to me when I 
completed my dinner, and was shown to a room with 
a luxuriant bed, which I at once appropriated, and 

3* 



58 

in ten minutes was sleeping soundly as an innocent 
babe on its mother's breast. 

I slept soundly for a couple of hours, and then 
awaking, I arose, washed and dressed myself and 
went down to the stables. My horse looked fresh and 
well, as though the long journey to which he had 
been subjected, had been the merest playspell. My 
first object was to dispose of the horse, to trade it or 
sell it. And after an hours chafing with a fellow, I 
traded him for a pony, getting twenty dollars cash 
between the two. I had to tell some pretty big stories 
to make them believe I was of age, but finally suc- 
ceeded. That afternoon I mounted the pony and 
started for Albany. I rode along leisurely admiring 
the scenery, and breathing the clear bracing air along 
the Hudson river, by the Cat-skill mountains, over 
which I had been with droves of cattle many times. 
I arrived in Albany the next morning, having done 
over seventy miles since my last start, and put up at 
the Pearl street House. I was anxious now to dis- 
pose of the pony, and directly the stableman found 
me a purchaser, in the shape of a wholesale grocer, 
doing business in the lower part of the city. He was 
afraid however, that I was under age, and that my 
father or mother would not approve of the sale. So 
he called in a witness to see that he took no advant- 
age of the boy, and we concluded the sale. He was 
to give me one hundred dollars for the pony, fifty in 
cash and a note for fifty dollars, payable in thirty 
days. I now thought of going to visit my friends in 
western New York, and bought my ticket and had my 



59 

saddle checked to Batavia, New York ; as I reached 
Syracuse, it occurred to me that I had better run up 
to Oswego Falls, about an hour's ride from the city, 
to visit my mother, then residing at that place. I 
reached there and found my mother sick with a fever. 
1 only staid one night with her. I helped my mother 
some, and then only having about thirty dollars left, 
I concluded to go back to Albany and get the note 
I had cashed. 

So the next train East, saw me a passenger for the 
capitol of New York State. I reached Albany, and 
succeeded in selling the note, by allowing a " shave " 
of five dollars. This made me about seventy-five 
dollars ; and I concluded to go to New York city and 
see my sister. I went down the Hudson River Rail- 
road to New York, where I remained four or five davs. 
In this time I managed to spend nearly all my money, 
so that at the end of a week I found myself nearly 
destitute of funds, and began to cast about for some 
means of replenishing my purse without the unpleasant 
alternative of work. After thinking the matter over, 
I concluded to go back to Connecticut and try the old 
business again, so I ran up to New Haven that after- 
noon, and walking the same road over I had before, 
I reached Roxbury in the night, and after prospecting 
a little, concluded to take a horse belonging to Hiram 
Elwell. After the lights were all extinguished, I 
slipped down to his barn, all was still. I knew well 
where each article was to be found, for I had been 
there frequently with his son, in days before. I crept 
cautiously into the barn, ran out the buggy, slipped 



60 

on the harness, put in the blanket, halter and robe, 
hitched on the horse, and was soon on my way to New- 
York. I passed over the hills to Chalybes ; drove 
down its now dark and deserted streets ; halted a 
moment before the place where I had once been pro- 
prietor, and then passed on. 

From there I went to Bridgewater, then to Brook- 
field Iron Works, and then kept on a nearly southern 
direction, reaching New York City early the next 
morning, but once having stopped in the woods du- 
ring the day time. As I entered New York I turned 
off from Broadway to avoid the crowd, drove down 
to the Pavonia ferry, crossed it, and had my horse 
put in at a boarding and sale stable, on Pavonia 
Avenue. 

I remained in New York two or three days with 
my sister Minnie, took her out to ride with my horse 
and buggy, which, of course, I could never have done 
had she known how I came by them, and, finally, con- 
cluded to return to Boston and get my trunk and my 
other luggage. 

I left New York on April 16th, 1872, for Albany, 
via Hudson River Steamboat. From there to State 
line, then down the Harlem road to take another 
look at a fine gray pony I thought would mate the 
one I had in Jersey City. I had heard a gentleman 
say that morning, he would like her if she had a mate. 
We halted a few moments at a small place called Do- 
ver Plains. As soon as the train stopped, I jumped 
off and ran to a hotel near the station, to get a drink 
of liquor. It was an express train and before T could 



61 

get my dram, the whistle blew, the bell sounded, and 
away went the train leaving me standing upon the 
steps, very much discomfited at the loss of the train. 
Well, thinks I, what's to do now? Why go on the 
next train. But a consultation with the station master 
gave me the highly unsatisfactory information, that 
no more passenger trains would go that way until 
twelve that night. I had been knocking about for 
some time before, and felt desperately tired, so had 
retired early, about eight p. M., and was soon sound 
asleep. Before retiring I bad been out to the stables 
and looked over a fine rig, with a view to taking them 
to complete my journey, but finally concluded not to, 
on several accounts. 



CHAPTER VIII. 

arrest; a prisoner's work and discipline. 

While these things were transpiring with me, there 
w T as a grand commotion in the village of Roxbury. 
The taking of Mr. Preston's horse had been attended 
with circumstances pointing so strongly to me as the 
thief, that, had the fact of my being north been known, I 
should have been arrested, as the undoubted culprit. 
But the taking of the second horse, together with the 
mystery which entirely enshrouded its disappearance, 
cast a great fear over the hearts of all in the village, 
and it was with dire forebodings, that the good people 



62 

of Koxbury lay down to sleep, thinking that their 
horses might be run off during the night, or their 
dwellings burglarized. Gillett, the junior partner, 
maintained that it wasLonnie Carr that took Preston's 
horse, from the manner in which the stable door was 
fastened open, for, said he, " no fellow ever fastened 
that door open like that, but him." Well, in view of 
this and some other scraps of evidence they had picked 
up, they had a large lot of my pictures struck off, and 
each party that went out hunting was armed with one. 
On the 16th day of April, there were many out in 
search, for there was a reward of two hundred dollars 
offered for the arrest and conviction of the thief; 
and among that number was the owner of the last 
horse taken, Mr. Hiram Elwel'l, and Mr. Samuel 
Thomas. These, both oldish men, drove off in a 
northwesterly direction, and brought up at night at 
Dover Plains. 

They had driven quite a distance, and being old 
men and fatigued with their ride, they had their horse 
taken care of, and after disposing of a hearty supper 
they retired for the night, being shown, as it happened, 
to the room adjoining the one I occupied, We all 
rested well that night, both the pursuers and the pur- 
sued, and when morning dawned, they were early 
astir, while I remained in bed enjoying the sleep I so 
much needed, and of which I had so foolishly robbed 
myself in my night work of the past two or three 
months. 

They descended to the stables, had their horse 
properly taken care of, and took breakfast at the iirst 



63 

table, then they paid their bill and ordered their horse. 
Before leaving, however, it occurred to them they had 
better show the picture they had of me, and ask " if 
they had seen any such looking chap about those 
parts." a Why, good Lord ! yes," said mine host. 
il That very fellow slept in the room next to yours, 
last night.'' 

This was a revelation of too much importance, of 
course, to be neglected, and in a moment all was ex- 
citement about the place, and all were anxious to 
assist in the capture of the runaway. But do not 
imagine I had been asleep all this time. I awoke and 
dressed myself, feeling very well, except a dull head- 
ache which I diagnosed by calling for a glass of grog. 
So I descended the stairs and passed into the barroom 
to procure the aforesaid grog. As I emptied the con- 
tents of the glass, my eyes caught sight of the men 
standing on the hotel steps, exhibiting the picture to 
the landlord, who was an officer. I saw them through 
a window, but they did not see me, and without wait- 
ing for my change, I caught my hat and coat down 
from the rack and ran up stairs. 

You can better imagine my feelings than I can 
describe them. What was I to do? Every moment 
was precious, and every moment wasted brought me 
nearer that dreaded finale, arrest. Under desperate 
circumstances employ desperate means, had been my 
watchword ever siuce I had followed that rough way 
of life. What to do I did not know. To remain 
would certainly insure my arrest, while to leave the 



64 

house was almost impossible without being seen and 
arrested. 

At this juncture, while revolving in my mind a 
thousand schemes for escape, and not comprehending 
the details of any of them fully, a train came thun- 
dering into the station, which was the next building 
to the hotel. In an instant my mind was made up. 
I would attempt to board the train, and make my es- 
cape in that way. It was a desperate resource to 
attempt to board an express train, although not under 
full motion, but I resolved to do it if I could, reflect- 
ing that if I escaped, it would be the merest good 
luck in the world, and if I was caught the time occu- 
pied in the attempt to escape would only lengthen 
the time of my liberty. 

Probably I did not wait as long as it takes me to 
write this — although the time seemed an age to me — 
before the whistle sounded, the bell rang, and the 
huge mass of wood and iron puffed and groaned, and 
rolled out of the station. As the last car passed the 
platform, I gathered all my strength for one last 
effort for liberty. It was a hard struggle, but I 
finally swung myself upon the platform, and felt that 
for the time I was free. 

I could see from the windows the people at the 
hotel running about confusedly. They had seen me, 
I had no doubt of that, and I thought that without 
doubt the lightning telegraph would bring a calamity 
upon me. How true were my convictions ! And 
alas ! how soon to be verified. 

As the cars stopped in the next station I alighted, 



65 

and started for the depot of a small cross railroad 
that intersected at that place, but I had not gone 
more than forty rods on my way before a hand was 
laid on my shoulder, and I was a prisoner. 

On my way up, while crossing a small stream, I 
had thrown away all the objectionable property I 
possessed. My revolver, knife, the burr that held 
the handle to the augur I had used at Koxbury, the 
key to Preston & Gillett's safe, &c, so that they found 
no property of a questionable nature upon my per- 
son. 

I was taken by the officer, on the next down train, 
back to Dover Plains. Here I met Mr. Elwell and 
Mr. Thomas. Their expressions of kindness, on 
meeting me, were too much for me, and, hardened as 
I was by the rough life I had been leading, the tears 
sprang to my eyes, and fell like rain over my face. 

They held a consultation together as to what was 
best to be done with me. They could not take me 
back to Connecticut without a legal process, unless I 
was willing to go. Of this I was aware, and think- 
ing that the better I behaved the lighter punishment 
I would be likely to get, I told them I would go 
voluntarily. Then Mr. Elwell questioned me about 
his horse, and denying all knowledge of. its where- 
abouts, I soon learned that they had discovered no clue 
to connect me with its disappearance. This relieved 
me to an extent, but it was with a sad heart that I 
entered the carriage that was to convey me back to 
my former home, and the scene of my crimes and 
lawlessness. 



66 

The sheriff immediately put the handcuffs upou my 
wrists, and we started off' for Roxbury, the two old 
gentlemen ahead and the sheriff and I following. I 
think that was the saddest ride of my life, to be 
taken back to the town where I had lived and passed 
so many happy hours, where I was so well known, 
and I thought highly respected. The thought almost 
killed me. 

How fervently I prayed that I might die before 
ever I reached Roxbury. But people never die 
under such circumstances, or very rarely so, and it 
was not many hours before the snowy church spires 
of Roxbury rose up in the distance, and I began to 
realize that " the way of the transgressor is hard." 
I had realized this truism many times before in the 
last three months, but now it came home to me with 
ten-fold more importance than ever before, chilling 
me through and through, and making me sick of life 
and its joys and sorrows. 

At length we reached a high elevation, and com- 
menced the descent of Sanford's bill into Roxbury. 
Our coming was the signal for the gathering of a 
crowd about the post office, and we were greeted by 
such expressions as these : " Here they come ;" 
"They've got him ;" "Look at his ornaments," &c, 
&c. 

As you may imagine, these salutes cut me to the 
quick, but I began to learn at this early clay, that 
men in my circumstances could not be choosers. We 
halted a iew moments at the post office, and then 
drove over to Preston & Gillett's store. Here a 



67 

larger crowd still had assembled, and among them 
some whom I had known intimately in former times. 
Among them was E~athan Smith, my old employer, 
and I believe a true friend to me had I been true to 
mvself. 

The old man's heart was nearly broken, and his tears 
flowed like rain down over his wrinkled old face, u Oh 
Lounie," said he, " can it be possible you have come 
to this. If you had listened to my advice, and 
abandoned your evil associations and bad habits, you 
would not be where you are to-day." 

Then another old man came along, that was Colonel 
Philo Hodge, and said he: " Serves you just right, 
a man that has had the chance you have, and come to 
this, ought to be hung up on the first tree they come 
to — No, hanging is too good for you — But State 
prison. And thus he rattled on, not feeling what he 
was saying, but using this bravado to hide his real feel- 
ings. Right here let me say, when I returned to R. 
in 1874, he asked me to dine, and was one of my best 
friends. 

There were many wet eyes, and many sad faces in 
that crowd, and I wished every moment that the 
ground would open and swallow me up. After a 
little, we drove to the house of the constable, who 
was a blacksmith, and into whose keeping I was con- 
fided. This fellow was a very humane man, and im- 
mediately took off the hand-cuffs, and as it was too 
late for an examination that night, the constable con- 
cluded to keep me at his house until morning, so he 
engaged a couple of strong men to guard me, and we 



68 

went over to his residence. A great crowd came in 
to see me, but along towards midnight, they dropped 
off one by one, and finally none remained but the 
constable, the two guards, and Mr. Gillett, the junior 
member of the firm of Preston & Gillett. 

Then the constable proposed my going to bed, but 
I declined, saying that I preferred lying where I was, 
upon a couch in the front room. Then the officer 
said he guessed he would retire and leave me in the 
hands of the guards. This Mr. Gillett objected to, 
on the grounds that one of the guards might fall 
asleep, and that in that case, my Christian principles 
would not probably deter me from going off — to some 
distance perhaps. An idea of Mr. Gillett's, for which 
I have ever since given him credit for a profound 
knowledge of human nature, which he certainly de- 
serves. So Mr. Gillett remained with me all night, 
having first taken the precaution of having me again 
thoroughly searched, the third time since my arrest. 
I should have needed but the shadow of a chance to 
have set my feet in motion toward liberty, and a 
larger sphere of educated civilization. 

The next morning I was examined and held for 
trial. I was then conveyed to Litchfield Jail to re- 
main until the September term of court, when I was 
to be tried. On my arrival at the jail, I was locked 
up in a cell, and here I had ample time for reflection. 
The first thing I done was -to open the parcel Mrs. T. 
gave me just before starting from E., with the words 
don't open it until you get up there. It contained two 
good books, one the new testament, on top of it a paper 



69 

with this little poem written by her to me the previous 
evening while the crowd of men were gathered about 
me at Sheriff Harris'. I leave you to imagine my 
feelings as I read, " No is a little word.'' 

NO, IS A VERY LITTLE WORD. 

No is a very little word, 

In one short breath we say it ; 
Sometimes 'tis wrong, but oftener right, 

So let me justly write it. 
No, I must say, when tempted to swear ; 

Ho, when asked to gamble ; 
Ho, when strong drink I am urged to share, 

And No, to a Sunday's ramble. 
No, when tempted to lie or steal, 

And then conceal it. 
No, to sin, when darkness hides, 

And I alone should feel it. 
Whenever sinners would entice 

My path from paths of duty, 
No, I'll unhesitatingly cry, 

No, not for price or booty. 
God watches how this little word 

By every one is spoken, 
And knows those children as his own, 

By this one simple token. 
Who promptly utters No, to wrong, 

Says Yes, to right, as surely, 
That man has entered wisdom's ways, 

And treads her paths securely. 

Mrs. H. T. to Lonnie. 



The above are the first words I read after the 
heavy iron doors had closed. The monstrous key 
had turned the heavy bolt, which sounded so terrible 



in 

to me my first night in prison (April 18th, 1872). 
Oh I Can yon imagine my feelings then ? No. No. 
No. 

All my past experience came up before me, and I 
felt that like many another, I had miserably perverted 
the opportunities that might have been such a bles- 
sing to me. It was here that my mother came to see 
me, and with tears in her eyes, and a quivering lip 
asked me the question which heads this little book : 
" Why, Lonnie, did you do it? " 

Oh why did I do it ? that has been my query ever 
since. While I was in jail, I learned a lesson, that 
prepared me for what was to come afterwards. It 
seemed that I could not stay in that place, the room 
was too small, the ventilation too poor to suit my fas- 
tidious taste, so I concocted a plan of escape, along 
with a fellow who was in jail for drunkenness. He 
was anxious to escape, so was I, and the only feasi- 
ble plan I could see, was to knock down the turnkey, 
take the keys and make our escape. My confederate 
was as anxious to escape as myself, but being naturally 
a coward, was afraid to strike the first blow towards 
freedom, but said if I would strike first, he would 
take care of him after that. This was all arranged, 
and the next thing was to find some suitable imple- 
ment to strike with. I examined my room for some- 
thing, and finally espied an iron wedge that had been 
driven into a crack in the wall for some purpose or 
another. This I contrived to work loose, and con- 
cealed it in my hip pocket, so that my coat would 
cover it up nicely. The day was set when we should 



71 

make the attempt to escape, butjustatthe last moment 
my confederate "squealed," and I was in rather a 
bad position. The first I knew that our scheme was 
frustrated was the turnkey's ordering me to my cell, 
this I did. Hold your door was the next order, and 
then the bar was drawn on, and he commanded me to 
goto the farther end of the cell. This I did, and 
then approaching the cell door, he bade me strip 
myself and pass my clothes out to him. This I did, 
and when he found my wedge, he asked me what I 
had that for. I told him I had it to fix my bedstead 
with. Then he says, " No, you had it to knock me 
down with." " I will learn you better than that." 
" Come out here sir," and the bar was drawn off, and 
I stepped out in the hall. " This way if you please 
sir, I will give you some new quarters, where I guess 
I can keep you out of mischief," and I was marched 
down the long hall to a place they called " Between 
the doors." This was a dark cell, but not large 
enough for a man to lie down in, only just so a man 
could sit doubled partly up, with his back against 
one side and his knees against the other. It was 
about nine A. m, when he put me in there, and I didn't 
seen him again until about ten in the evening, then 
he came and unlocked the door. I had stood with my 
back against the door, and had fallen into a drouse, 
and when he unlocked it I tumbled out, he jumped 
back and caught me, and said, a What are you try- 
ing to do, young fellow ?" " Do you think you would 
like to knock me down now, if you had a chance ?" I 
said I guessed not. " Well then, come along with 



12 

me," said he, and I started along towards my old cell. 
"Not quite so fast," he called; "this way, if you 
please ;" and he took me up to the " solitary," and 
locked me in. This was a dark place also, but there 
was room enough to lie down although you had to lie 
on the bare stones with your arm for a pillow. This 
was better, though, and I slept very well during most 
of the night. He kept me in there a couple of days, 
and at the end of that time I was returned to my cell, 
and kept in solitary confinement for a whole month, 
this to pay for my first evil doing while in durance 
vile. I had plenty of time to think; my mind would 
run back over the past. And the good letters my 
friends wrote me were treasured in my memory, 
although some of the paper is lost, the seed sown is 
now growing. See one from E. L. F. 

C— , June , 1872. 



Dear Brother Lonnie :— Each morniug, as I go out at sun- 
rise, and look across the meadows sparkling with dew, and hear 
the singing of birds and hum of insects about me, I think of 
you so far away, though, under the same sun, yet, excluded 
from it by the frowning gray walls of a prison. 

I resolve, from your sad experience, to take a lesson ; how 
beneficial this may be, time alone will show, but, however, it 
may be, think that your life, thus far, has not been in vain. 
Lonuie, you were predestined for some good to your present 
misfortune. Look at it in that light, and God will give you 
strength to bear all. 

You remember what I predicted when you were in Mobile? 
I did not think it would come so soon. Bear with me when I 
say again, the one thing that will save you, reform. 

Your Brother, E. L. F. 



73 

Oh > how vividly the above words were in my 
mind, when, five years later, I received a letter from 
the same hand and heart. It speaks for itself. After 
all the changes, see it near the close of this little 
narrative. 

My next misdeed occurred while I was confined in 
my cell ; this was when some of my old chums came 
to see me, and sent me a bottle of brandy by the hall 
boy. He brought it to me and passed it in through 
the bars. I grasped it eagerly and drained off half 
its contents at a draught. One draught more and I 
had swallowed one-half pint of raw brandy, and hand- 
ing the bottle back to the boy, so it should tell no 
tales, I stood up at the door and talked a while with 
my friends. It was not long, however, before the fire 
began to take effect, and I became uproarous. I 
strode about the room with the step of a giant. I 
kicked down my bed and upset my stool, and what 
not, that came in my way. I rattled away at my door 
and clammered for liberty. The room was too small 
to contain me, and I kicked the door in my wrath. 
These demonstrations brought the turnkey and offi- 
cers at once, and all inquired where I got my liquor. 
I told them some one gave it to me, but I could not 
tell who it was. Says the turnkey, " Do you think 
you could remember if you was in the * solitary ?' " 
I knew he was trying to scare me, for he understood 
the cause of my craze and pitied me more than he 
blamed me. But I could not remember, and that 
time I got off "scot free," with only a fearful head- 
ache the next morning. 

While I was locked in my cell I could look down 
4 



74 

in the hall and see the men making baskets. This 
interested me, and I asked one of the prisoners to 
throw me up some timber and a knife and let me try 
my hand at basket making. This he did, and I tink- 
ered with the splints until I could weave them very 
well ; but I could not shape them. After I was let 
out from my cell the boss gave me instructions in his 
trade, and I learned rapidly, so that I was ultimately 
able to make many nice things, which was a great 
help to me in after times. I remained in Litchfield 
jail five months and one day before I came to trial. 
In the meantime, I had paid Preston & Gillett quite 
an amount of money not to appear against me on the 
indictment for burglary, and had confessed the theft 
of Elwell's horse. 

I told them where they would find it, but they 
would not believe it ; and then I told them to tele- 
graph there and see if it was not so, which they did. 
This saved me considerable, and as I pleaded guilty, 
the state attorney said he would get me off just as 
light as he could. At last the judge read the name 
of Lonnie Carr, and ordered me to stand up ; then in 
his deep measured voice he read the charge, and said : 
" Lonson Carr, guilty or not guilty of the crime 
charged against you ?" I answered as well as I could, 
" Guilty." " Then," said the judge, " it becomes my 
painful duty to sentence you to two years at hard 
labor in the State prison at Weathersfield." 

This was too much, and I cried like a child. To 
think of being confined between stone walls for two 
weary years ; it seemed as if the thought would kill 
me ! 



75 

When I was removed to the State prison, I found 
that the discipline was more severe than in the county 
jail ; but I had received some lessons in behavior, 
and some instructions from an old convict, as to the 
best plan to adopt to gain the good-will of the officials 
of the prison. 

About the 24th of October, 1872, I was taken up 
to Weathersfield to commence work for my board and 
clothes. It was a fine day the day we went up, and 
as the carriage drew up in front of the beautiful lawn, 
in the back part of which the prison is situated, one 
would say that it was some fine residence, the taste 
of whose owner extended more especially in the direc- 
tion of beautiful lawns and finely kept grounds, than 
in the grandeur or architecture. I alighted and fol- 
lowed the sheriff into the office of the prison. 

" I have brought another boarder for you," said the 
sheriff, after the compliments of the day were ex- 
changed. 

" For how long ?" said Captain Botelle. 

"Two years," said Sheriff Baldwin. 

"Turnkey," said the Captain, "put this man in 
No. 66 ;'* and I was marched up and locked into my 
apartment. 

The deputy came in next morning and told me to 
prepare to go out to work in the shop, by bringing out 
all that I had there, that I wanted to keep, as I would 
not be in that cell again. I was locked in No. 21 for 
one year, then in 97, the rest of my stay, this was the 
pleasantest cell I had. There are shops there 
for the manufacture of boots and shoes, rules and 
wire work, but principally boots. This was new bus- 



?6 

iness to me, the thread cut my hands, which were as 
soft as a woman's, and it was not long before my 
hands were blistered and sore, and pained me greatly. 
How many times during those first few months did I 
think seriously of committing suicide ; and had I not 
lacked the courage, should have done it. But now that 
I am free, that I can breathe God's- pure air and enjoy 
the blessing of sunshine and showers, that I have 
striven and succeeded in becoming a useful member 
of society, I bless God that he turned my heart away 
from the evil purpose, and after the days of his chas- 
tening was completed he brought me back to the fold 
of Jesus Christ more meek in heart and more sound 
in purpose.* 

In the prison, I was instructed in my duties by the 
shop boss. I must sit all day in my seat, with a man 
at easy arm's length from me on either side, and sew 
and cut and fit, and never speak to the man on one 
side or the other. But there is no way on earth of 
completely overcoming man's proclivities for sociality. 
They are naturally inclined to friendships, and will 
under almost any circumstance, find means to gratify 
their inclinations. We used to write a few brief 
words upon a scrap of leather when we were fitting it, 
and, hitting it with our knife, throw it over to our 
next man, who would read it. We ran a greater risk 
in this than the indulgence was worth, for had we 
been caught, nothing but the " solitary " and bread 
and water would have paid the penalty. These risks 
were taken principally in the interest of a vice, to 
which not only convicts are addicted, but a large class 
of our male population throughout the United States, 



77 

viz. : the use of tobacco. I had never chewed airy 
tobacco until I entered the confines of a prison, but I 
had smoked a great many boxes of cigars and drank 
a great many gallons of liquor. So when I came to 
be debarred from the privilege of smoking, and could 
not get my accustomed drink, I naturally took up 
chewing to fill the vacancy. At first I did not get 
very large rations of tobacco, but after they saw that 
I meant to do right, they increased the amount. 

The time came, however, I could not get enough to 
satisfy my cravings, and so I took to trading my 
clothing for it. I would trade a nice coat worth six- 
teen or eighteen dollars for a plug of tobacco, and a 
coat several degrees poorer than my own ; a . vest 
worth four dollars for an old rag of a thing and half 
of a plug; a fine stiff hat worth four dollars for a 
straw one and three chews of the vile stuff. 

In that way I traded out almost entirely my whole 
stock of clothing, caring nothing for the future, so 
long as I procured the means for gratifying my ap- 
petite. 

Our fare was not the most tempting in the world, 
to one who had lived a I had, at the best hotels in the 
country. It consisted of quite a variety of food, good 
and wholesome, but inclined to be unpalatable to a new 
beginner, as the meat seemed to be " remnants," and 
the potatoes had a great penchant of corning to us 
with their coats on. The coffee, too, was an invention 
peculiar to the establishment, it was a very black, 
uncertain compound, sweetened with a species of black 
sweetness in the form of molasses ; this was served to 
us in a large tin cup with a handle, and large enough 



78 

at the top for a three pint basin to set in, containing 
our hash, to be ate with an iron spoon, which arrange- 
ment served the double purpose of keeping them both 
warm. 

Every morning in the year, except Friday and 
Sunday, our breakfast consisted of meat " hash.'' On 
Friday morning it was codfish " hash," and on Sun- 
day morning it was rice. For dinner on Tuesday, 
Thursday, and Saturday, we had corned beef, pota- 
toes, and bread. On Friday, codfish and potatoes, this 
on account of their being some Catholics in there, who 
did not eat meat on Friday. And the other day noons, 
soup and bread. For supper we had mush and milk, 
and mush and molasses, alternated, except Sunday 
and Monday night, when we had on the former, bread 
and water, and on the latter bread and tea. This 
constituted our bill of fare the year round, with two 
exceptions, these were Thanksgiving, and one dinner 
and supper along in January. 

On Thanksgiving day we had a grand dinner of 
mashed potatoes, roast turkey, fine butter gravy, jelly, 
&c, in great abundance. The other dinner is pro- 
vided from the interest accruing from an amount of 
money left by a rich man of the towu, who, dying, 
left the wish on record, that once in each year the 
prisoners of Wethersfield should be regaled by a 
grand dinner and supper. This custom has become a 
rule, and the prisoners look forward to it anxiously, 
and I believe if ever there was true thanksgiving 
rendered to God for his mercies, it is upon these 
occasions. 

Our religious instructions were severe, but this is 



. 



( 79 

but an example to prove that all forms of religion 
lack impressiveness, without they are addressed to the 
heart. And this reason, and no other, accounts for the 
lack of steadfastness in the majority of our church 
members, even in our most notedly orthodox churches. 
In the morning we were called up and had about 
twenty minutes to make our beds and sweep out our 
cells, then we took up our bucket and stood at the door. 
When the bar was drawn off we marched outand formed 
a line, marched around the block of cells in the center, 
and took up our place in line before the chaplain's desk. 
After first marching to the shop to " wash up,'' we 
set our bucket down, and sit on the cover, with our 
head bent down, and our eyes upon the chaplain. An 
officer sits by the chaplain to enforce these regulations. 
You. cannot drive religion into an individual, how- 
ever hard you may try, and should you succeed in 
causing him to appear outwardly godly, always rest 
assured that there is some weak point in his faith, 
that should it be attacked by an adversary, will surely 
yield. 

CHAPTER IX. 

Released from prison; Out three months; Ar- 
rested again; Thirty-two months in House of 
Correction; Attend Francis Murphy's Tem- 
perance Meetings in Philadelphia ; A situa- 
tion at John Wanamaker's ; Conclusion, with 
a few words of encouragement. 

Time passed on with me as it does with all the 
good, and wise, and happy on earth, and gradually I 



80 | 

came to count the months ; then the days ; finally 
the hours. My time passed pleasantly enough, 
had it not been for the idea of my condition. I 
had all I wanted to eat and wear, and although my 
food was coarse and my clothes resembled an exceed- 
ingly " nobby " suit, or. a u checkerboard," — as they 
called it, I felt comparatively well in body, and 
being restricted from my various vices, I grew remark- 
ably fleshy, The prison suit I alluded to, was com- 
posed of a sort of coarse woolen stuff, so woven that one 
piece would contain about eleven threads of black to 
one of white, while another piece would be eleven 
threads of white to one of black. In making these 
suits one half of a pair of pants would be made of the 
light-colored, and the other of the dark. And the 
coat the same way, when the light half came on the 
right side of the pants leg, it would come on the left 
side of coat. A fact that was observed so nicely that 
the cap partook of the same peculiarity, only quar- 
tered instead of halved. 

One man there was as good as another, no matter 
what his color, nationality, or religion might be, so 
long as he behaved himself well. And there was 
very slight distinction made regarding a man's men- 
tal status, so long as he was not a pronounced idiot. 
It was strange to notice, how every man had some 
peculiar office to perform. A one-armed or one- 
legged man could always rind employment. Some 
old gray -headed men, bending under with the weight 
of years and sin, went about with a heavy staff doing 
some light work, such as dispensing water in the 
shop, &c. 



81 

Thus ran the time, and, finally, I began to count the 
days that must elapse before I stood again under the 
blue dome of heaven a free man. I thought that if, 
when I came out, I could get something respectable 
to do, I would abandon my old ways and try ro reform 
and see if by some means I could not retrieve my fal- 
len fortunes. But resolving to do a thing, and then 
carrying the resolution out, in letter and principle, 
are two separate and disLinct things, and I found it 
far easier to resolve than to execute. As the last few 
days of my confinement dragged themselves along, I 
was in a fever of excitement and anticipation. The 
days seemed long, and the nights seemed endless, but 
at last the time came near at hand. In the morning 
I could go out, free ! free ! With these thoughts I 
threw myself upon my iron bedstead and tried to sleep. 
Hardly a man ever sleeps much the last night, and I 
slept scarce any. My mind was full of everything. 
Home and friends, schemes for making money, and 
thoughts of the past crowded into my brain in a con- 
fused, strange way. 

My time, as I had figured it, would expire on Sun- 
day morning, and I asked the deputy if he was going 
to let me out on Saturday night. He said he guessed 
not, that I could not get far that night and the next day 
was Sunday, and I would probably be in again before 
Monday. One regulation of the prison was that no 
man could know when he was going out. At last on 
Sunday night I asked the captain if he was going to 
let me out that night, but he said " I must auswer you 
as the doctor did the sick man ; your time is drawing- 
nigh." 

4* 



82 

On Monday morning I went to the workshop as 
usual, to wash up, then got my rations, and marched 
out to work. 

About 8J A. M. the boss told me the deputy wanted 
to see me, and to bring along my coat and cap. I 
went out to the officer, but I did not know as I was 
going out. I thought possibly they might be going 
to send me outside the wall to work three or four days, 
as they did sometimes with men whose time was nearly 
out. I had lost ten days of my good time for talking, 
but on account of not being reported but once, the 
captain had promised me one-half of it back. I got only 
four days on account of Sunday. We get five days off 
each month for good behavior. This we call good time. 
When we reached the office the deputy said to me, "there 
is your clothes," and it did not require a second invitation 
for me to don the fresh suit of civilization, and appear to 
the world. As I stood arraying myself I told the deputy 
that I thought I felt better than when I laid my 
clothes off there two years before, and he intimated 
that he thought likely I did. I stepped out into the 
world. I breathed the pure air of Heaven once more. 
I saw the blue sky spread its vast arch overhead. I 
had virtually to begin life again, and the thought 
seemed full of importance. 

I sauntered down the avenue shaded by noble 
elms — those giants that stand guard perpetually, 
over so much human misery — exchanged a word or 
two to those about, and, finally, gained the street. I 
looked up the street, and then took my way to the 
telepraph office, and sent this dispatch to my mother 
at Schenectady. 



83 

Dear Mother : — Will be there this eve. Am just out. 

Your son, 

LONNIE. 

I reached home that merit, and found mv mother 
and sisters awaiting me at the depot. It was some 
time before they recognized me, I had grown so 
fleshy. I weighed 162 pounds avoirdupois, which 
compared very favorably with 120 pounds, my weight 
when T went there. So much for mush and molasses. 

I remained in Schenectady only four or five days, 
and then we went to New York City, down the Hud- 
son to visit my oldest sister. After remaining in the 
city a few days we went to Philadelphia, where we 
had shipped our goods before we left Schenectady* 
I staid in Philadelphia a week looking for work but 
could not find any, so concluded to go back to New 
York City and try my luck there. I reached New 
York and cast about for a situation, and, finally, 
through the agency of a daily paper, I found a place 
with Bullinkamp Brothers, at 261: Flatbush Avenue 
Brooklyn, L. I. They took me on trial, giving me 
$12.00 per month and board, and agreeing to raise 
my pay the next month. 

I remained with them five weeks, and then think- 
ing^that I could not live well enough on the salary 
they gave, I concluded to go on the road as a sales- 
man for 0. Thornton, 300 Broadway, with novelties. 

I left for New Haven immediately, getting in there 
early the next morning, and set about canvassing. I 
remained there three days, and then went to Koxbury 
and New Miiford, Connecticut, in these places I 
did very well indeed, making three or four dollars a 



84 

day. I remained about there some three weeks, and 
canvassed the towns thoroughly. 

The first night I reached Hoxbury I had a hard 
trial. I sat on the store steps, while many of my old 
associates gathered about me to hear some of my past 
experiences. As the evening wore on, one after an- 
other dropped off, and finally nearly all had left ex- 
cept Harvey Thomas and Harvey Thomas, Jr. When 
they were ready to go home the old gentlemau said, 
li Come, Lonnie, come home with me, and stay all 
night;" and the young man added, "Yes, if you 
have'nt any other place to stay, come and stay with 
us." 

This grated harshly on my ear, and helped in a 
measure to discourage me. He might have meant 
well. The time was I had so many places to go I 
could not accept all the invitations. It was the 
reverse to-night. I never will forget his kind mo- 
ther's words, which have even at a late day helped 
lead me to Christ. Here is a letter the good lady 
wrote me during the first week of my confinement 
within prison walls : 

My Young Friend : — As iny heart goes forth to you on this 
beautiful Sabbath morning, enclosed in prison walls, I cannot 
refrain from writing you a few lines in friendship. How often 
I have seen you, on such a morning as this, treading your way, 
with other young men, to the house of God. Would to heaven 
my eyes were thus greeted, on this holy morning, with the few 
unworthy acts of your life erased from your character, feeling, 
as I do, your Maker has endowed you with talents and capabili- 
ties that would enable you to live a useful and noble life, to- 
gether with a pleasant, genial aud kind manner, that won for 
you a host of friends, with whom you could have exerted an in- 



85 

fluence, and made impressions by your upright, Christian acts, 
lasting as eternity. God has made virtue the basis of happiness 
and vice the cause of sorrow. 

My young friend, you have mistook the path that leads to 
happiness ; but you are young, just entering upon early man- 
hood. Do not think you are now left to yourself and to the 
world, because you can do much good where you are. I pray 
for you, that the hour which placed you within prison walls will 
prove to be the most fortunate hour of your life ; may it be the 
commencement of a new life to you. Keep those books I gave 
you wherever you go, and read them daily. The Bible is a good 
book. Take it as the man of your counsel, the chart for your 
life. 

From your sincere frieud aud well wisher, who will not forget 
you in her prayers, 

Mrs. H. T. 

Had I kept the Good Book and followed its teach- 
ings, it would have already saved me thirty-two 
months in H. C. 

A. E. C. 

0, my comrades, follow the advice this good lady 
gave me, and you will li lay up for yourselves treas- 
ures in heaven, where moth doth not corrupt, or 
thieves break through and steal." 

As I have said before, I thought, when I came out, 
if I could get something honorable to do, I would try 
to reform, and this work was honorable ; but some of 
my friends gave me the cold shoulder (B. S. Preston 
for one ; I could not blame him), and those, too, who 
had been the warmest in the flush of prosperity. 
Sunshine friends they had been called by some, and 
that figure very aptly expresses it. 

B'rom Koxbury I went to Hartford. After staying 
there a few days, L went to Wet hers tie Id, and staid 



86 

over night with chaplain G. W. Wooding. He was 
an excellent gentleman, and I esteemed him highly. 
He frequently wrote letters for the prisoners, good, 
moral, Christian letters, to friends whose loved ones 
were incarcerated within those dingy walls. 

I next weut to Springfield to canvass. I had be- 
come somewhat discouraged with the treatment I had 
received from some of my friends, and I began to 
drink a little. Sunday I spent — instead of attending 
church — in visiting the back doors of several liquor 
shops, which were not allowed to be kept open on 
that day, and Sunday night I concluded to move on 
a little further. 

About dusk I crossed the Connecticut river on a 
ferry to West Springfield, and then walked on out 
of the town into the country. I think I walked 
about two miles, when I arrived at a little village 
where there were two churches in which divine ser- 
vices were then being conducted. I saw several 
good rigs hitched under the sheds, and the thought 
occurred to me that I could accomplish a short jour- 
ney much quicker with a horse than on foot. I had 
been drinking heavily all day, and my conscience 
was so thoroughly dulled that I did not count the 
cost that might be. So I looked over the rigs, and 
selected one, a fine large bay horse, as fat as he could 
be. He was hitched to a new three-springed wagon. 
Had I had time, I should have put the horse to a 
light buggy, and then I could have made better time ; 
but I concluded meeting was nearly out, so I backed 
out the horse as quietly as possible, jumped in, and 
drove off quickly. 



87 

I did not know where I was going, but drove on 
at a good pace for a while. At last I fell asleep, and 
knew no more until the next sunrise, when I awoke 
with the old horse standing quietly uader a covered 
bridge, and I down in the bottom of the wagon. I 
had not meant to steal the horse, and now that I 
awoke and found myself in this shape alarmed me 
not a little. If I went on I would be surely stealing 
it, and if I returned it they would then certainly get 
me ; so I decided to go on. I drove along at a good 
gait for a couple of miles, and then turned into the 
woods at the side of the road, and followed an old 
track for some distance ; then halted and unhitched 
the horse, unharnessed it, and tying the reins together 
made a long tether, that allowed him to feed a long 
way around, then taking out the robe and cushion, 
laid down in the shade and slept nearly all day. 

At night I hitched up and started on ; I drove all 
night, and early the next morning brought up at a 
little place just over the line of the State of New 
York. Here I was about making a trade for a lighter 
horse, and a skeleton wagon, and just as the trade 
was completed, and I was about to start off, a man 
took the horse by the bit and said he had a paper for 
me. Instead of getting out to see what it was, I 
jumped out on the other side, but just as I struck the 
ground, a constable took me by the arm, and says he, 
"You are my prisoner." They took me to. a little 
town about four or live miles away, I think it was 
Chatham Four Corners, and I was put into the lockup 
there. When they put me in, they unlocked the 
hand-cuffs from one wrist, and locked it to the bars of 



88 

the door ; and there I stood from four o'clock in the 
morning until about nine at night. In the meantime 
they had telegraphed to the City Marshal of Spring- 
field, Mr. Pease, who came down in the evening ; 
when he came in and looked at me, he said, " What 
have you got that boy chained up there for? Have 
you no watchman ? If not, get one ;" and I was 
unlocked, and a watchman was sent ; and I laid down 
on the straw bunk, and slept until three A. M. next 
day, when I was taken by the Marshal to Springfield. 
We arrived here about six o'clock, when the Marshal 
gave me an excellent breakfast, and then put me into 
a cell in the House of Correction. After the long 
white-bearded judge had bound me over for trial I gave 
my age as nineteen years (when really I was twenty- 
four, but no one would believe me that age yet), a 
fact which sent me to the House of Correction, instead 
of the Penitentiary. This was about the 24th of Septem- 
ber, and I remained here until the first Monday in 
December, when I was taken down to the court house 
with sixteen others, to plead. We were chained 
together two and two, and a guard of police on each 
side of us. I had not let any of my friends know 
where I was ; mother said she done all she could for 
me before, but if ever I got in another such scrape, 
it would kill her off, and she could do nothing for 
me, would not even write to me, but give me up ; I 
did not let her know for a year and a half, and then 
she heard it from another ; the knowledge was pleas- 
ure, for she thought I had gone to the gallows. 

I pleaded guilty, so I did not have to go down again 
until the seventeenth of December, when we all went 



89 

down in the same shape, to get our sentences. Mine 
was two and a half years in the House of Correction. 
My stay in this place was about the same as in the 
State prison; one day off each month, for good 
behavior, when less than three years' sentence, and 
two days off, when more. There is some difference 
however, in State prison, instructors are hired from 
outside, while in the House of Correction, the men 
who are the best behaved and best workmen and try 
to do well, get the boss jobs. I was lucky enough to 
have one all the time, with exceptions of the first three 
weeks, and got my thirty days' good time. These 
facts offer stong incentives to the men to do as well 
as may be ; it is better than the five-day rule at West- 
field State Prison. After two years and a half of patient 
waiting, the day came at last when I was to go; and 
I was let out early in the morning. I walked up and 
down State street, under the shade of the beautiful 
trees, and resolved, God helping me, to live a better 
life. I put my hand in my pocket for my tobacco, to 
take a chew. I had been without drinking and 
smoking two and a half years, and the thought oc- 
curred to me that I had better leave off" chewing 
tobacco; a habit I took up in prison, and followed 
five years, to excess ; instinctively I threw my tobacco 
away, and asked God to take away the appetite for 
chewing it. From that day to this, I have not wanted 
anything to do with chewing tobacco, and never will 
have again. 

After breakfast Sheriff Bradley took me into his 
buggy and down town, bought me a new suit of clothes, 
throughout. Then we went about to several places 



90 

to see if I could get employment, Mr. Bradley 
recommended me, so did Dr. N. E. Ames, also 
Mr. White and L. C. Smith, the contractor for 
the prison work, who also gave me $10.00, but 
business was dull, and I could get nothing to do, so 
I concluded to go to Philadelphia. I left Springfield 
just at dark the next night, Dr. Ames accompanied 
me to the depot, after giving me a home at his house 
one day and night. He was my Sunday school teacher 
in prison, and has written me many strengthening 
letters since my release. I went on the cars to New 
Haven, then took the boat to N"ew York City, where 
I remained three or four hours, visiting my old em- 
ployers, Bullinkamp Brothers, who promised if I did 
not get a place in three or four weeks, they would 
hire me again, expecting by that time to have their 
new store on Fulton avenue done. From here I went 
to Philadelphia, arriving there about noon. The next 
night I went with my sister Lillie to hear Francis 
Murphy speak on temperance, after the lecture I went 
up to the platform and asked Mr. Murphy where I 
could see him the next day ; he said at the Colonnade 
Hotel, Fifteenth and Chestnut streets, and the next 
day I waited on him there and had quite a conversa- 
tion with him. I told him where I had been and what 
I wanted, and he told me to come the next day to his 
noon-day prayer meeting, and he would see what 
could be done for me. I went, and Mr. Murphy call- 
ing me up on the platform said " now, my dear boy, 
whatever you want, pray for." This was what dear 
Brothers Ames, and Chaplain Rice of Springfield, 
Massachusetts, at Sunday school, told me to do; surely 



91 

there must be something in it, and I knew that God 
had answered my prayers in the past, and so I did 
pray fervently and earnestly for assistance in my hour 
of need. When the meeting broke up, he introduced 
me to Dr. Morris, and asked the company if there 
was not some one there who could give me employ- 
ment ; Dr. Morris said come with me, we will see 
what can be done for you, and he took me up to John 
Wanamaker's Grand Depot, at Thirteenth and Mar- 
ket streets, where he introduced me to that gentleman, 
and where I got a situation as salesman in the 'shoe 
department, under charge of W. W. Apsley, who said 
he did not need any more help just then, but would 
try me. I agreed to work cheaper than I had ever 
worked since I commenced driving cattle in 1863, 
with exception of five year's work in the P. work- 
house. I have my liberty there, that is of more value 
than any appreciate who have never been deprived 
of it. 

John Wanamaker, beside being a merchant prince, 
is a Sunday school prince, doing more to build up 
the church, through the agency of the Sunday school, 
than many an educated divine bred to that profession. 
And still more, he is ever reaching a helping hand 
to the fallen. I will never forget my first private 
interview with him, when I told him what I have just 
told you in this little volume. If I publish the sequel 
to this, I shall tell you more of others, especially of 
those mentioned in this volume. 

There was a difference between my coming out of 
prison, the two different times. The first time I 
thought if my friends used me well, and if I could do 



92 

well, &c, then I would try. The last time I thought 
I would do well any way, God helping me, and Grod 
has helped me. My wife, after getting a divorce from 
me, as she had a right to, married and now lives in 
New Milford, Connecticut, highly respected by all, 
and I sincerely hope, happy. 

If this little book receives good patronage, I may 
sometime tell you in another, " Why I did it," and 
answer the question my mother asked me in my prison 
cell, " Why did you do it." 

I bave taken the liberty of publishing a few notes 
from letters here, for the benefit of my friends in prison. 
Receive these that were written to me in your cir- 
cumstances, as from your friends to you, and the time 
will come when you can receive from them such ones 
as these to me. I have many more I shall take the 
liberty to publish in my next. 



Centreville, September, 1877. 
A. E. Carr : 

Dear Sir : — I have often thought whether it were possi- 
ble for you to truly aud sincerely reform, and always maintained, 
in my own mind, the day would come when the wickedness of 
your ways would appear to you, and your heart accept the 
words of kind friends, and return in humility to your quondam 
profession, with a renewed integrity of purpose and a hearty de- 
termination to seek righteousness anew. Your sin has found 
you out, but early enough in the morning of your life to permit 
your maturity a hallowed happiness, if you will cling resolutely 
to your new found guide. 

Never, as you love the faith you have espoused, look back or 
allow your mind to dwell upon past scenes of evil. Your belief 
is like a little plant, aud must be nourished iuto luxury. But 1 
do not wish to surmise. " He who has no sin, let him cast the 
first stone," says the most competent of all laws, aud I, cer- 
tainly, am not he. 

We live here in the same place we did ere we knew all the 
uuhappiness that has fallen to our share. I came out of college 



93 

last spring ; have been getting my medical education in Cincin- 
nati ; am practicing here for the time being. 

" Will we forgive you ? " 

Certainly, as freely as God forgives all his erring children 
(who ask him), so freely we forgive you. With the assurance 
you are forgiven by God and man, begin life anew, as it were. 
Cast away the dark shadows that have overspread your horizon, 
and rejoice in yourself as a tower of strength to resist tempta- 
tion. Go on life's journey with a firm resolve to do aud be what 
God would have you, a true man, and the prayers of all shall 
attend yon. 

Yours in all faith, 
E. LU VERNE FISH, M. D. 



12, 1878. 

Dear Brother Carr : — Am glad to hear that you are doing 
the Master's work in a way he has fitted you to labor for him. 
The boys are, as usual, getting along as well as could be ex- 
pected. Some of those who have come out of H. C. recently, 
who professed to have met with a change, have gone back, and 
are "ten-fold more the children of hell than they were before." 
But thanks to the Lord, many out, and more in the H. C, are 
holding on, doing good work in the Lord's vineyard every 
day S. has had only three or four weeks work since last Janu- 
ary. He gets almost discouraged at times, but his little girl, 
about four or five years old, clings to him very closely, and 
says " Papa, you will not go away again, will you ? " He loves 
her very much, and this, with his change of purpose, will keep 
him, if he trusts in God alone. 

L. is in J. S., doing well. 

H. S., who was in, came out last November, and remained 
sober until two weeks since, when he took to drink again. On 
the 3d inst., his body was found in a room in Shaw's block, in 
this City, dead. Ru?n, and perhaps poison, did it. Thus ends 
the life of one of the best business men in this city. Gone, Where? 

A. D., S. S., and many others are doing well in H. C. One 
M., who went in a confirmed Atheist, has been doing remarkably 
well, giving a good evidence, daily, of a change. He was iu 
some years ago. He is thoroughly changed, to all appearances. 

And now, what can I say to you to help you on in divine life? 
I can only say that I wish you, and all the boys that have or 
may have been, or may be in the future in the H. C. become, 
what it is their privilege to be, disciples of the Lord and Saviour 
Jesus Christ, in heart and life. This is my prayer, aud shall be 
while I have the privilege of attending those meetings on the 
Sabbath, or at any other time. I believe in the prayers of the 
righteous. 

When you issue your pamphlet, do not forget to send me one 
dollar's worth, that the prisoners may have the benefit of the 



94 

perusal. Let us follow the Great Shepherd who is above all 
others, and He "will keep us." 

Truly yours, 

N. E. AMES. 



Philadelphia, Pa., July 23, 1878. 
A. E. Carr: 

Dear Brother : — Your very interesting letter, giving 
us a full and satisfactory account of your adventures and your 
Christian experience, since we saw you last, was duly received 
and carefully noted. We are glad to hear from you, to know 
that you are having a pleasant visit among your old friends, 
and especially to be assured that you "Stand fast in the glorious 
liberty wherewith Christ has made you free." You have found, 
even as I told you, that an emphatic * ' _ZVo ' ' will insure a cer- 
tain victory in every temptation that may be presented by 
wicked and designing men. "Be firm in the right, as God 
gives you to see the right," and you will be more than conqueror 
in every conflict with sin. I am gratified to hear that your for- 
mer friends, who were at first inclined to doubt the genuineness 
of your conversion, are being conviuced, by your continual in- 
tegrity, not simply that you are thoroughly reformed, but also 
happily saved in Christ. May God bless and keep you ever 
faithful in his service, and lead you on to higher attainments. 
You have been advancing on the right line, a total abstinence 
from all that is doubtful, as well as that which is manifestly 
sinful. 

The too common mistake of young converts is that they ven- 
ture so near to the verge of wrong doiug, that, in an evil hour, 
they are lured over to the enemy's ground, and thus fall an easy 
prey to the cruel destroyer of souls. "Watch ! Staud fast in the 
faith ! Quit you like men ! Be strong !" 

We shall be pleased to see you on your return to the city, and 
will give you such encouragement, in the good way, as may be 
in our power. 

Yours fraternally, 

WILLIAM MAJOR. 

Allowatstown, N. J., August 19, 1878. 

Dear Brother Carr :— Yours of the 9th received through 
Brother Ayres. Was very glad to hear from you, and thanked 
God that I had been permitted to be instrumental in affording 
you the joy you speak of. It is the one great aim of my life 
to scatter seeds of kindness, peace, and love on my way through 
the wilderness, so that when I shall pass away, 1 may be " re- 
membered by what 1 have done." My heart always goes out in 
sympathy towards the young, especially those who have been 



95 

led astray by the great 'adversary. And I often thank my 
Saviour for the beautiful parable of the "Prodigal Son" (Luke 
xv., 11 to end of chapter), because it shows so clearly how will- 
ingly our Heavenly Father is to receive back to his love the 
poor, repentant, returning wanderer. 

My dear brother, as you look back over the past and see the 
pit from which you have been lifted up, you must be filled with 
gratitude and love to that Almighty Guardian and friend, who 
has plucked you as a brand out of the fire, and placed your feet 
on the Rock of Ages, and "put a new song in your mouth," even 
praise unto God. You might well use the words of David 
(Psalm cxvi., v. 12 to 14) and say : " What shall 1 render unto 
the Lord for all his benefits toward me? I will take the cup of 
salvation and call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my 
vows unto the Lord, now, in the presence of all his people." 
This language means that you will accept the cup assigned you 
by the Lord, because it is one of abundant salvation, and in con- 
sequence of this mercy shown to you in this offered salvation, 
you will render thanksgiving and praise to him wherever you 
may be in the presence of his people. 

And I have sufficient confidence in your fidelity to him who 
has been so good and kind to you, to feel assured you will never 
be neglectful of your duty to that kind Father who has raised 
up for you so many warm friends, among whom will always be 
found myself and wife, besides the numerous others in Camden 
and elsewhere. I enjoyed, very much, the evening you spoke 
of, at our dear Brother Ayres', and should very much like to 
spend just such another. I spent the Sabbath in Camden, 
August 11th, and preached twice in Mr. Wymrs church, in the 
northern part of the city. I had a very pleasant time, and saw 
many friends who came to hear me. I should have been glad to 
have had your presence with us. And now, my dear brother, 
let me close by giving you the words of Paul to the Philippiaus 
(iii, 13, 14), "Forgetting those things which are behind, and reach- 
ing forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the 
mark for the prize of the high calling of God, in Christ Jesus." 
And my desire and prayer is that, God helping you, you may 
strive to do likewise. 

Yours, in Christian love. 

JAMES WALDEN. 



Springfield, September 4, 1878. 

Dear Brother Carr : — Yours of 2d inst. received ; am very 
happy to hear that you are still holding to the faith "once de- 
livered to the saints." This is the best of all. Whatever else 
we may fail in, we do not want to fail in our attachment to the 
good L .»rd who has purchased our pardon at such a cost. " He 
gave His life for me," and "what have I done for Thee?" might 



96 

be the question for you and I to ask heartily. And if we can 
say we have done wbat we could, that is all that is required of 
us. I have had you in my mind very much of late, wondering 
if you were busy in the Master's work. Your letter, and the 
accompanying ones, give me the assurance that you are follow- 
ing Christ, not afar off, but holding intimate communion with 
Him continually. That is right and safe, and the only thing 
we can do to be safe from the attacks of the great enemy of all 
souls. Brother Rice, L. C. Smith, and other of your acquaint- 
ances, send love to you and say go on in the good way and ulti- 
mately wear the victor's crown. Shall make allusions to your 
letter next Sunday, if I am able to be at H. C, and give them 
your message, which I have no doubt they will appreciate. 

Must close by wishing God's blessing on you and subscribing 
myself, 

Your brother in Christ, 

N. E.AMES. 



The Pike Gazette, July 13, 1878, said : 

"Lonnie Carr is in town, canvassing for a book he proposes 
to publish, containing a history of his life. 

Everybody subscribes for it, of course, out of curiosity, to see 
what scrapes the boy has been into. It is bad judgment, how- 
ever, in our opinion, placing before the public, in print, the par- 
ticulars of a life that has in it so much deserving of censure. 

His former brother-in-law, Dr. Fish, of Centreville, is prepar- 
ing the book." 

H. Besaucon is editor of the Gazette, in which this little para- 
graph appeared. I can say it did not stop this little work going 
on at all. The story is told. The type is nearly set, and in a 
few days this little work will go out before the public, whether 
subscribed for out of curiosity or from other motives. Now, 
my dear reader, whether you be friend or foe, as you close this 
little book, open your owd, by letting your mind review the 
past, and if all is not bright as it "might have been" and you 
would like to have the present and future better, let me beg of 
you open God's holy Word; " Take it as the man of your coun- 
sel, the guide for your life; " " Follow its precepts and teachings, 
and you will be safe in this world, and happy in the world to 



THE END. 



NOTICE! 



I will send to any person's address, one copy of 

"WHY DID YOU DO IT," 

Postage paid, on receipt of 25 cents ; 4 copies to , one, 
or one to each of four person's address, Postage paid, 
on receipt of $1.00. 

Take particular pains to write the Address plain. 

In no case send the money, except by Post Office 
Order, Check, or Draft. 



INDUCEMENT TO AGENTS. 



100 Copies to one Address, Postage paid, on receipt of $18.00 
50 " " " . " " 9.50 

24 " " " ? ? 5.04 

12 " " " " " 2.76 



Agents who order 50 or 100 copies, and wish to see 
the book before paying for them, in full, may have 
them sent, Express paid, 6n receipt of $1.00, balance at 
the above rates, C. O. D., at their Express Office. 

To save Agents trouble of delivering, will till their 
orders on receipt of payment, in full, in single wrappers, 
to each person's Address, on receipt of one cent per 
copy above these rates. 

Liberal Discount on Orders for more than 100 copies 
at one time. 

J^ IE. O^IE^IR,, 
(Address), Post Office Box, 2754, 

Philadelphia, J 'a. 



